O’Leary makes waves in the Dáil,

Irish Independent - Weekend Review - - CONTENTS -

for­tunes, he comes up with a plan so cun­ning you could put a tail on it and call it Paul McGuin­ness — he elim­i­nates all his ri­vals.

Fig­ur­ing that so many celebrities are dy­ing, peo­ple won’t re­ally be sur­prised if the trend of deaths con­tin­ues, he or­gan­ises a sit down with Bruce Spring­steen, Chris Martin and, for some un­fath­omable rea­son, Glen Hansard to dis­cuss ways they can in­crease world poverty. Sorry, make poverty his­tory.

His au­da­cious as­sas­si­na­tion at­tempt is thwarted when a sus­pi­cious Spring­steen sees The Edge shep­herd his boss out the room while Larry locks all the doors.

A slaugh­ter of the mag­nif­i­cents is only fully averted when Adam falls asleep and for­gets to bring the guns.

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