Trump spent much of the latter part of the campaign looking like a man who just realised that he’d left the oven turned on at home. Yet by the end of the whole shebang he was the leader of the free world.
Hopes that he would use the early part of his first term in office to heal bridges, mend wounds and mix metaphors wherever he goes, he decides instead that he won so he could do what he wants. Which, let’s be honest, is what he always did anyway.
Things get rough for him when the brains of the operation, Kellyanne Coway, leaves. Like the rest of the world, she was shocked at his inauguration speech.
“It wasn’t so much the content,” a stunned Conway later tells reporters, “but did he have to deliver it in Russian? I know he wants to strengthen ties between our two great nations, but I just don’t think screaming ‘Dasvidaniya, bitches!’ and laughing nonstop for five minutes was a very Presidential thing to do.”
Trump further endears himself to the world when he goes ahead with his promise to relocate the US embassy in Israel from Tel Aviv to Jerusalem.
He announces the date of the new embassy’s opening on his social media account, prompting a furious response from the Palestinians, who demand he delete the tweet.
In return, Trump threatens to delete them, and includes an emoji of a mushroom cloud to show he means business.
Sadly, Trump’s reign of error doesn’t see out the year — he is impeached in November when it emerges he ordered the Secret Service to beat up a 13-year-old from Alabama who made a joke about men with small hands.