MICHAEL O’LEARY

Irish Independent - Weekend Review - - CONTENTS -

Hav­ing rightly de­cided that all the politi­cians are only feckin’ ee­jts and, em­bold­ened by his friend Don­ald’s suc­cess in the States, the Ryanair chief runs for elec­tion with the newly formed Mé Féin party.

A com­bi­na­tion of voter ap­a­thy and mis­chief sees O’Leary be­come a most un­likely com­pro­mise Taoiseach. Sadly, O’Leary hears the word ‘com­pro­mise’ and freaks out, sack­ing all his staff. He then makes it il­le­gal to be a ‘smelly Lefty’ and slaps a mil­lion euro sur­charge on all Aer Lin­gus flights.

The eyes of the world turn to Kil­dare when our new glo­ri­ous leader says this is where he will in­tern any­one who thinks unions are a good thing. A ma­jor diplo­matic row de­vel­ops be­tween Ire­land and Amer­ica when O’Leary greets Pres­i­dent Trump by wav­ing a load of dol­lar bills in his face and in­form­ing the POTUS that he is “con­sid­er­ably richer than you”.

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