Irish Independent - Weekend Review - - CONTENTS -

Hav­ing made his name from talk­ing wit­less gib­ber­ish at ev­ery avail­able op­por­tu­nity as his frus­tra­tion at not be­ing King drives him to­tally mad, Chuck fi­nally has enough of his bloody mother’s im­mor­tal reign.

He kid­naps her last sur­viv­ing Corgi to ‘ease’ her de­ci­sion to ab­di­cate and his first com­mand, when crowned King Charles The Turd, is to in­sist that peo­ple should spend at least eight hours of five days ev­ery week go­ing to a place that isn’t their home to per­form me­nial tasks in re­turn for money, which they can then use to ob­tain goods and ser­vices.

It’s ex­plained to the newly crowned King that the con­cept al­ready ex­ists and is com­monly known as a ‘job’.

Widely ig­nored by the pub­lic, he ends his days se­cretly grow­ing weed in Buck­ing­ham Palace’s now over­grown and aban­doned gar­dens, while Princess Meghan tells Camilla she’ll put a cap in her ass if they don’t make way.

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