How do I deal with my vegan girl at 14?

Dear Anne

My 14-year-old daughter has announced she’s becoming a vegan. I’m really worried about it because she’s so young and she’s already really skinny. I don’t think that she’s anorexic, but I fear this may be a step towards it. At this stage, I feel helpless to do anything.

Anne says

She’s so young and vulnerable to take such a huge, life-changing decision, isn’t she? The most important thing right now is to try to find out what her motivation is.

Is she choosing veganism because she really truly believes in those values? Or does she think it’s a way to lose more weight?

Does she talk the talk? Has she studied what sort of foods she can eat and how she can ensure that she’s getting the right nutrition? Does she also understand that veganism is much more than diet? It will govern what sort of clothes and shoes she wears, even what sort of cosmetics she uses.

Since this would seriously affect family food shopping, cooking and meal planning, I reckon you are well within your maternal rights to say: “OK girl, you need me on side – so convince me!”

Then do lots of homework, so you can ask the right questions. Show her you won’t be hoodwinked – if she wants to go vegan, you’ll support her. But you have to know she’s sincere and that she understands that as a growing girl she needs a healthy diet. Malnutrition can cause huge problems: not just weight loss, which may appeal to her, but also loss of bone density, rickets, bad teeth, hair and skin. It’s easy, if you’re not spot-on with the new diet, to become deficient in vitamin D, calcium, iron and possibly vitamin B12. Another big issue, say experts, is that a vegan diet isn’t very energy-dense – so you have to eat a lot. It can be difficult to get enough protein.

Some vegans suggest taking a year or two to make the transition.

Once you’ve talked it through with her in detail you will have a much better idea of her motives. If you are still worried, get her along to the doctor.

Veganism is a lifestyle that’s highly ambitious and admirable. Anorexia is a lifelong curse. You’re right to worry.

You are well within your maternal rights to say OK girl – convince me!