As Carol Tobin discusses a life of stand-up with fellow comediennes (see page 12), Pat Fitzpatrick picks out some other ladies who have tickled our fancy
1 JOAN RIVERS
Joan got in trouble with Jews and Germans when she turned a comment about Heidi Klum’s ass into a gag about the Nazis. (Only Joan could get away with it — we won’t repeat it here.) She got in more trouble after making jokes about Adele’s weight on TV. You are not allowed to make jokes about fat people in America or one of them will come and sit next to you on a plane. She responded to the criticism with more jokes about Adele. Joan has some neck. Wonder how much it cost her.
2 MAUREEN POTTER
You might not know that Maureen performed for Hitler during a tour of Germany in 1938. We presume her routine focused on the suffering of others. Of course, the Germans have a special term for the suffering of others — it’s called the European Union. For any German upset by that so-called joke, please check out what Joan Rivers said about you in relation to Heidi Klum. Unless it’s Heidi Klum reading this, in which case, how you doin'?
3 MIRANDA HART
She’s funny because she’s tall. Of course, behind a lot of tall, witty women is a small, nervous man going: “Oh Jesus, please don’t let her make a joke about my height. I try to play along but I’m small and therefore have a very short temper. So you can imagine how I feel when someone says to my girlfriend, ‘I don’t know what you see in him’ and she replies, ‘The top of his head, usually. Ha!’” Livid.
4 ELLEN DEGENERES
Ellen is the lady who introduced Crystal Swing to primetime American TV. And still the Yanks love her. Very forgiving people. Of course they love a novelty dance act from the auld sod. Just look at Riverdance. In fact, the only difference between Riverdance and Crystal Swing is hundreds of millions of dollars. Well, that and the fact the Riverdance crew are allowed to appear in public without their mothers. Otherwise, it would have just been chaos on stage.
5 MAEVE HIGGINS
Maeve made a name for herself on Naked Camera running around in a wedding dress trying to get guys to marry her. Still, it’s a less obvious approach than signing up for internet dating and putting, “looking for fun and nothing else”. Sneaky. That’s a wannabe wife right there. Probably wearing a wedding gown as she types. Guys still respond in the extreme off-chance she might be a 21-year-old Russian hottie with an incurable sex addiction. They never are. Apparently.