CELEBRITY FOOD GU­RUS

As Sarah Caden talks to cook­book au­thor and model Rosanna Dav­i­son (see Page 12), Pat Fitz­patrick has a look at other celebs who have strong views on food

Sunday Independent (Ireland) - Life - - FIRST PERSON -

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Gillian shot to fame on You Are What You Eat. You re­mem­ber the show, al­right. There was Gillian, a pe­cu­liarly large lady from Burn­ley called Tess, and a ta­ble show­ing what Tess eats and drinks ev­ery week. The ta­ble was made of re­in­forced steel. They couldn’t stop for a com­mer­cial break be­cause if they took their eyes off Tess for a sec­ond, she’d pol­ish off a chicken sup­per and four bot­tles of WKD. The point of the show was very sim­ple: congratulations viewer, you are not Tess.

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A mes­sage from the Or­di­nary Men of Ire­land. “It has come to our at­ten­tion that if you close your eyes, Dr Eva can sound like a dom­i­na­trix we saw on a video that the brother brought back from Ham­burg in 1987. We’re not sug­gest­ing we took up mega-ex­treme triathlons and gave up the pints be­cause Dr Eva would re­mind you of a strangely sexy prison guard called Frau Ver­boten. But do you hon­estly think we’d do it if the same ad­vice came from Donal Ske­han?”

3 GILLIAN MCKEITH EVA ORSMOND AMELIA FREER

She wrote a best­seller in 2014 called Eat. Nour­ish. Glow. The fol­low-up was called Cook. Nour­ish. Glow. She. Ob­vi­ously. Likes. One. Word. Sen­tences. Boy Ge­orge is a big fan. He says that Amelia’s diet helped him lose six stone a few years ago. Just as well. Let’s just say the only band that could help his ca­reer at that stage was a gas­tric band. The trad­ing-stan­dards peo­ple were in­sist­ing he change his name to Mid­dle-Aged Lady Ge­orge.

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Jamie de­cided against a va­sec­tomy af­ter a friend had one that went wrong. Said friend sent him a pic­ture of what Jamie called his ‘old chap’. How very Bri­tish. Se­ri­ously, would any­one like a drop of sherry? Some say Jamie is ap­palled that par­ents make ter­ri­ble choices for their kids, which will im­pact on their health and hap­pi­ness. We say he called his son Buddy Bear Mau­rice. Imag­ine roll-call in school. “Buddy Bear Mau­rice?” “Here, Miss.” Class wets pants laugh­ing. Ev­ery sin­gle day.

5 JAMIE OLIVER BLAKE LIVELY

You haven’t heard of her be­cause you stopped watch­ing the telly seven years ago and can’t be­lieve that Bruce Wil­lis is about 97 years of age. (You’re get­ting old. Get used to it.) Blake was the star of Gos­sip Girl, one of the shows that per­suaded you to stop watch­ing telly seven years ago. She is branch­ing out now, and it looks like she wants to be a food and life­style guru, just like Gwyneth Pal­trow. It’s fair to say that’s a good enough rea­son to ig­nore her.

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