HIGH­LIGHTS OF THE YEAR

As De­clan Lynch takes a look back at the year that was (see Page 10), Pat Fitz­patrick lists some of the most mem­o­rable mo­ments of 2016

Sunday Independent (Ireland) - Life - - FIRST PERSON -

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Frenchies. It should be safe to come out of your houses now. The last of our soc­cer fans just flew back from Lyon, where they fi­nally gave up try­ing to get a train-load of lo­cals to sing If they tried that here in Ire­land, they would be la­belled drunk scum­bags and carted off the train by armed gar­dai at Lim­er­ick Junc­tion. But when they do it abroad, it is classified as ‘the crack’ and shared four mil­lion times on Face­book, as fur­ther proof we’re the Mas­ter Race.

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The good news is that we’re all go­ing to live longer. The bad news is medicine in im­prov­ing so fast, you might still be around in 2116. That means another year of reimag­in­ing Ire­land. Jay­sus. It will be mainly doc­u­men­taries ex­plor­ing what the men of 1916 would have made of our new, ro­botic over­lords. And no, we don’t mean the Ger­mans. Al­though that would have come as a pleas­ant sur­prise to the men who took the GPO, says you, try­ing to open up old wounds.

3 EURO 2016 Bon­jour Sean South From Gar­ry­owen. 1916 BREXIT

A lot of the ex­perts say we are about to lose our best friend in Europe. It makes you wonder what the Brits should have done to re­ally piss us off. Lay on a sec­ond Famine? Re­vive the Ir­ish lan­guage? Some say Brexit gives us an ad­van­tage, as we’ll be the only English-speak­ing coun­try in the EU. We say: the Nether­lands. The Dutch speak per­fect English, even though a lot of them are very, very high. (And we don’t mean tall.)

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We wake up to the shock­ing news the next US pres­i­dent is called Don­ald Trump. Spare a thought for Me­la­nia. She gets to wake up next to him. On what we can only as­sume are or­ange sheets. (Bil­lion­aires will do any­thing to save on the wash­ing.) The bad news is that Don­ald’s eco­nomic poli­cies look like they could turn Ire­land into an eco­nomic waste­land by 2020. The good news is his en­vi­ron­men­tal poli­cies mean we’ll all be liv­ing on the moon by then. So cheer up.

5 DON­ALD TRUMP DEAD STARS

David Bowie. Prince. And Pete Burns. It’s like God watched an old episode of and said it’s time to come home, rock gods. And Pete Burns. We also lost Terry Wo­gan. The Bri­tish view­ers were amazed at the deft way he used to han­dle a drunk George Best on TV. But then, be­ing Ir­ish, he was well used to a drunk stranger sit­ting down next to him and talk­ing about the time he shagged Miss World. #Got­taloveour­pubs

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