Tak­ing the hell out of healthy

Ahead of her launch in the US, Su­san Jane White shares her most pop­u­lar Christ­mas recipes to make your taste buds yo­del. Photography by Su­san Jane White

Sunday Independent (Ireland) - Life - - APPETITES -

Ilove Christ­mas. No mat­ter how many rel­a­tives I trap, or num­ber of Brussels sprouts I fit into them, my fam­ily are al­ways so pa­tient and bid­dable. If I was a cyn­i­cal per­son, I might think they’ve been spon­sored by Grey Goose. No. I love Christ­mas. And Christ­mas loves me. say ‘ to the ir­re­spon­si­ble naysay­ers, con­vinced that Christ­mas has been colonised by cap­i­tal­ism. Eh, Christ­mas is not an in­dus­try, dudes, it’s a hobby like knit­ting, or run­ning for the Pres­i­dency.

So don’t let the naysay­ers twerk your synapses with their windy ser­mons. My synapses are on an­nual leave dur­ing the Yule­tide. It’s the only time of year I can jus­ti­fi­ably hold a pair of cash­mere socks and de­mand they be pub­licly inau­gu­rated on my feet. Or hold my lo­cal wine tast­ing to ran­som — again, with­out in­cit­ing a crim­i­nal record. I love how un­rea­son­able I can be it’s like the moth­er­ship of PMT with na­tional im­mu­nity.

I am also acutely aware that this may be the only time my saf­fron apri­cots will ever trump Noma’s marzi­pan and port re­duc­tion. If my frol­ick­ing has taught me any­thing, other than the lim­its to my belt-ex­pan­sion, it is that how food tastes qual­i­fies as only one seg­ment of its true ap­peal. ‘When’ is just as cru­cial to our taste buds, be­cause of the mem­o­ries it can set in mo­tion. And ‘who’ also plays a de­ci­sive role in a food’s cel­e­bra­tion. Noth­ing demon­strates this bet­ter than Christ­mas.

So here are my tra­di­tional Christ­mas fam­ily recipes, which I start pimp­ing as early as the mocks (Thanks­giv­ing). Each dish is suf­fused with giddy mem­o­ries, and in­dus­trial amounts of Dean Martin. They are the pur­vey­ors of mirth and mer­ri­ment. Happy Christ­mas, y’all! May end­less mistle­toe and sherry be upon you.

phlugh!’ hullo?

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