Transformers: The Last Knight
Cert: 12A; Now showing
It’s frightening to think that Michael Bay’s Transformers films have had a total boxoffice take of nearly $4bn.
They are the movie equivalent of a bag of tangled-up Christmas lights — all soul-destroying untidiness and faulty circuitry. And Bay is nothing if not consistent with his fifth (and supposedly final) limp to the merch stand.
This film is devoid of basic movie-making criteria — such as a narrative course, engaging dialogue, characters that trigger our empathy and so on. Instead bitty robots whirl about like scrapheap gyroscopes, walloping each other and reciting action-figure oneliners as the camera pans nauseatingly around them.
While all this meaningless CGI gloop is smeared about the screen, Mark Wahlberg, Laura Haddock and Anthony Hopkins duck and dive about. Haddock, to boot, would seem to be poured into a tight dress solely so the camera can ogle her.
Transformers is one for fans of robots and CGI