& mother The child reunion

WTo celebrate Mother’s Day, we spoke to four glamorous mums about the truth of having babies, and photographed them and their children dressed in high style from Brown Thomas’s spring/summer ranges. To kick off, Sarah Caden catches up with Storm Keating about her first year with baby Cooper and her decision not to have a full-time nanny but to be a hands-on mum

hen I first met Ronan, I didn’t really know if parenthood was something we would share together. He already had three children — Jack (19), Missy (17) and Ali (12) — so that, of course, was something to consider. I had to be really thoughtful, even though I really wanted children of my own, whether it would be the right dynamic for everyone involved. I couldn’t just consider myself, but also Ronan and the kids.

I think in terms of the relationship between Ronan and me, there were lots of questions like these, and other things, too, to consider from the start — it wasn’t like a standard relationship in that way.

In most relationships, you get time to get to know each other first, and then move through different stages of a relationship over time before you face the big, awkward stuff. It was different for us because of who he is and his public profile, and, of course, because he had kids already.

Plus, the fact that I’m Australian and all my family and friends are on the other side of the world — as well as my career — so I would have to leave all that behind, because I would never have asked him to leave them to be with me. We had so much to think about, and we had to listen to our heads, not just our hearts.

The truth is that when we first met, Ro wasn’t sure if he wanted to have any more children. We talked about it, and as difficult as it was for me to hear, I understood why he felt that way, and had to decide if that was a deal-breaker for me. It was heartbreaking at the time because I always wanted to have children, so it was such a hard decision… but I loved him with every bone in my body, and I knew that although it was a huge sacrifice, I could live without children of my own, but I just couldn’t live without him.

So I chose Ro, and that was that. It was about a year after that when he surprised me while we were out to dinner, and we were laughing at a little baby girl at the table next to us. He turned to me and said, ‘You’ll make a great mammy one day,’ before adding that he had changed his mind and would love us to have a child together. I had no idea that was coming and I was so overwhelmed.

I was crying and full of joy because having children was something I really wanted, but I had accepted what he’d said when we had that first conversation. I had made my choice and I was happy with it, but then it was just so amazing to hear that he wanted to share that with me. Even talking about it now, with Cooper in our lives, it just seems a lifetime ago.

I always expected that motherhood would be something I’d enjoy and love, but you truly can’t put it into words. It’s your heart, and even so much more than that. I thought I was the happiest woman in the world — madly in love with my husband and so happy and lucky — but Coops has topped it in a way that I cannot explain.

I can’t believe I have this little man in my life and my adorable husband as well. I don’t know what I’ve done to deserve these blessings. I truly pinch myself every day — I’ve never known so much love and happiness. Oh my gosh, I loved being pregnant. I miss my tummy and rubbing it, even though the first three months were atrocious. I had awful morning sickness, and we were on Ronan’s world tour for all of that time. It was off the Richter scale; I would just lie on the floor of a dressing room, anywhere, no matter how filthy. It was terrible. But as soon as the first few months were over, it was like a lightbulb going on. I got all my energy back and was going a hundred miles an hour again, juggling work and life. I felt fantastic, and I even enjoyed putting on the weight and all of it. I guess because I just loved that I had this little being growing inside me and felt so grateful that I was lucky enough to be going through the whole experience.

Cooper will turn one on April 26. The first year has been amazing. I wish there was a different word, because amazing is used all the time and doesn’t really sum it up

— it has just blown my mind. I’m a very hands-on mammy, and Ronan is a very hands-on dad. I guess because we feel so privileged to have Cooper in our lives, we don’t want to take that for granted. We want to spend all our time with him.

I’m not saying that it’s easy, though; it’s hard, and it’s definitely a sacrifice, but it’s how we want it and we love that we can make it work. I come from a humble family; true grafters. We grew up on a farm, and that’s how my parents raised us — they were very hands-on and very loving.

Ro and I could pay for a full-time nanny; well, we’re in a position where we could pay people to do almost everything in our lives — gardening and cooking and cleaning, and nanny too — but that’s just not me. I enjoy being present and doing things myself without having to rely on others to do it for me. Plus, it means we can save that money and put it towards things like family holidays.

It keeps me grounded to live like I was raised, and I’ve never been shy of hard work. Even if we won a billion dollars tomorrow, I would still be the same — baking, cleaning and buying things on sale! But that’s how I want it, and that’s how I want to raise my family.

I wear my heart on my sleeve, and when I first met the three big kids — that’s what we call Jack, Missy and Ali now — I went into it that way, lots of heart. I think the world of those kids, and I’ve only ever wanted the world for them.

I’m sure everyone in my position handles it differently, and I won’t lie and say it’s easy, because that wouldn’t be doing justice to the thousands of other stepmums or dads out there. It’s a very unique path to navigate and one that certainly comes with its fare share of heartache. But I went into it all not at all wanting to take on the role of their mother, because they have a mother [Yvonne Connolly] and she’s a good mother. I was very cautious about not making her feel threatened by me, also, because I wanted it to work for everyone, and most of all for the kids.

So I suppose I’ve taken the role of being the young and not-so-strict one — I’m someone who they know loves them unconditionally and will do anything for them, but I’m not their parent and they don’t answer to me. And I love that relationship. Especially when it means they can confide in me and talk to me about things that they might not feel comfortable telling their parents. It’s a win-win, because ultimately it means even more loved-ones are looking out for them and guiding them.

Cooper has travelled a lot in his first year, and his very first trip was to Dublin, when he was six weeks old, to see the family. Cooper had already been in 19 countries before he was even born, because he was conceived at the start of Ro’s world tour. We did 19 countries pregnant, and since then he’s been to Australia, Spain, Norway, Holland, Greece, Ireland, the Maldives, Scotland and Thailand.

Travelling with a baby is a lot of organising and packing, and the luggage side of things is well out of control, but Coops himself is an easy traveller. He loves planes, loves people, and he’s such a chilled little man; as soon as he gets on a plane, he falls asleep. But this is our lifestyle to live like this, Ro’s career takes him all over the globe and he works so hard... if we didn’t go with him, he’d miss out on so much, and he’d miss us like crazy. I wouldn’t want to do that to him, nor would I want that for Coops, so I try my hardest to support him by being on the road as much as possible. For Cooper, it’s what he’s known since he was born — it’s his reality and he knows no different, which I think is partly why he’s such an amazing little traveller. He gets excited as soon as we arrive at the airport.

Ro just had some gigs in Thailand, so that’s why we all found ourselves in Thailand, otherwise he wouldn’t have seen us for a week.

I stopped work completely for three months after I had Cooper, but then I got back into it. I oversee all of our business operations and also have my own bits and pieces in the background too, so three months was a long time to stop, and I couldn’t take any longer if I wanted to keep on top of things. Now, I’m back in the swing of things and working and being mummy at the same time.

We’re lucky, though, because Ro is in a job where it’s not nine to five, and neither am I. If you are both nine to five, then of course you need someone to mind the bub, but we manage to dovetail each other in the child-minding.

Ro goes in for radio [on Magic FM in the UK] at 4.30am in the morning. Then he comes home late morning and grabs Coops from me, and I go on the laptop and do what I need to do. We can mostly do the parenting between us, but like most working parents, there are times when we need a babysitter, and then we get one. But we have the three big kids also, not just Cooper, so on weekends and holidays we’ve got four to juggle and plan around. Organising flights and making plans and staying up late to make the most of every minute… it just doesn’t stop for us.

Ronan and I are lucky in that we get to travel a lot for work and spend a lot of time together as a family, but I’m not great at making time for myself. When I’m in mummy mode, I don’t think about what I’m missing — I just crack on. But that’s not healthy either.

I’ve only just recently finished breastfeeding, so that will make things a lot easier and give me a lot more freedom. When I officially finished, it was huge and exciting, but also a little bit sad. Breastfeeding was so special and filled me with a pride I can’t describe. It was hard to let that go, but now I have the ability to leave the house without a child in tow, which is fantastic! At first it was a bit weird, but then when I was able to go out and have a gin and tonic without thinking about feeding a baby later, it was like — hallelujah!

This will be my first proper Mother’s Day, but I did have a small taster last year when Ro and the big kids surprised me on Australian Mother’s Day, which was just after Cooper was born. I didn’t even know it was Mother’s Day in Oz! They gave me a big bunch of flowers and Ali made me brekky in bed. She also wrote me a beautiful text and that was very special — it’s those little things that remind you why you love them so much and why you want to give them so much of your heart. I’m really looking forward to my first real Mother’s Day and, please god, many more to come.

“I went into it all not at all wanting to take on the role of their mother because they have a mother, and she’s a good mother. I was very cautious about not making her feel threatened by me, also”

“I thought I might get funny looks when breastfeeding — I never did. And I really went for it, because Cloud wanted to be on the boob all the time and I really got behind the idea of normalising it”