Soap

The Irish Mail on Sunday - TV Week - - SEVEN DAYS -

Coro­na­tion Street’s Nick de­clared to Eva on Mon­day: ‘I don’t do mad, vin­dic­tive women.’ This isn’t true. In fact, Weather­field is packed with them, as Ty­rone dis­cov­ered fol­low­ing Kirsty’s at­tack on him. Mary, too, is bark­ing (re­mem­ber how she ru­ined Hayley’s wed­ding day?) and let’s not for­get Kylie, Tracy and Rosie. There aren’t enough strait­jack­ets on the planet to con­tain the mad­ness gath­ered here. And the prob­lem isn’t con­fined to Weather­field. Eastenders’ Stella tor­tured young Ben be­fore fall­ing to her death (mind you, given his re­cent be­hav­iour, I’m be­gin­ning to think he de­served ev­ery­thing he got); Lucy is a devil child, while Ja­nine is psy­chotic – and pos­si­bly even a mur­derer.

The re­turn of Val in Em­merdale re­minds us just how crazy she can be, and on Mon­day she meets her match in Ali­cia, who re­veals her­self to be de­cid­edly un­hinged.

In Hol­lyoaks, fe­male mad­ness some­times runs in en­tire fam­i­lies. The Mcqueen clan would not look out of place in a re­make of The Shin­ing and then there’s Mitzeee, who has the con­science of a flea. Of course, soa­p­land is not with­out its mad men, too; Coro­na­tion Street has had more se­rial killers than Death Row, and any man with the sur­name Mitchell in Eastenders should be put on med­i­ca­tion the sec­ond they leave the womb.

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