Soap is never more boring than when a group of guys talk sport. Coronation Street does it with golf; it’s always football in EastEnders.
On Monday, Alfie tries to get everyone interested in joining the Queen Vic football team. At least there’s some humour this time round, and a twist when Kat takes over the job of recruiting – and ends up with too many joining. The trials begin in earnest on Tuesday, with Mo declaring she’s the team physio (be afraid, be very afraid, lads). As they prepare for their first match on Wednesday, Kat enjoys some flirting with Max, Ray, Derek and Jack.
Did I not say, a few weeks back, that I thought the show was hinting at a possible liaison between Derek and Kat? When Alfie crashes out drunk, Kat is seen rearranging her skirt, clearly having scored with one of the men with whom she has been flirting. But which one? Let’s look at the candidates: Max – he has form, but would he risk losing Tanya again? Ray – a distinct possibility. The only problem is, the man keeps texting Kat, and I’m not sure Ray even knows what the alphabet is, let alone how to send a text. Derek – perish the thought (not unless chloroform is involved); Jack – he’d be my choice.
On Thursday, Kat is feeling guilty and tells the mystery man to leave her alone, but on Friday she finds him irresistible (surely not Derek then).
There is the beginning of a beautiful friendship on Friday, when a drunk Shirley finds herself on the roof of the public toilets (as you do). It’s left to Jean, who is star-gazing through her telescope (quite when she turned into Patrick Moore is anybody’s guess), to coax her down. Also on Friday, Janine and Michael decide upon a name for the doll... I mean baby.