The Irish Mail on Sunday - TV Week - - SEVEN DAYS -

There are three things that most of us have that are rarely owned in soa­p­land: wash­ing ma­chines, dish­wash­ers and cars. No one seems to have ever owned a wash­ing ma­chine in EastEnders be­cause do­ing so would ob­vi­ously negate the value of the laun­derette as a gos­sip venue. While, dish­wash­ers in Corona­tion Street would tend to ruin the amount of time spent talk­ing at the kitchen sink and cars sim­ply clog up sets.

Em­merdale has the high­est num­ber of cars, not least be­cause of the dis­tances char­ac­ters travel be­tween dif­fer­ent parts of the vil­lage. In Corona­tion Street, if any­one needs to leave Weather­field ( heaven for­bid) they rely on taxis. And even though there are of­ten cars in Kevin’s garage, have you ever no­ticed that no one ever col­lects them?

The EastEnders are de­pen­dent upon the Tube to get them in and out of Wal­ford, and the few cars that have ever fea­tured are only there to kill peo­ple. But then killing peo­ple is pretty much the func­tion of cars in soa­p­land, where the ac­ci­dent rate is at least 50 times the na­tional av­er­age. It has been re­ported that the Street’s Lewis is now go­ing to be bumped off in one, too. And down un­der, you can’t breathe near a car without it killing you.

Given th­ese damn­ing sta­tis­tics, you would have thought that some­one would have had the nous to open a bike shop.

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