EASTEN­DERS

The Irish Mail on Sunday - TV Week - - SEVEN DAYS -

I re­ally hope that Ray is Kat’s mys­tery lover. Given Kim’s silly noises, her ridicu­lous hair, her OTT man­ner­isms, surely it is in­con­ceiv­able that Ray would go for this woman. Pre­sum­ably, she is meant to be one of the show’s ‘comic’ char­ac­ters but, in fact, the com­edy is bet­ter when it doesn’t verge on slap­stick – Tamwar’s un­der­stated asides, Shirley’s ex­pres­sions, Fat Boy.

On Thurs­day, Kat re­ceives a key to a flat from her se­cret lover – which, alas, makes it less likely to be Ray. On the wages which Kat pays him, he could ill af­ford to have a key du­pli­cated, let along a key­hole to a spare apart­ment (Derek, how­ever, could). With Al­fie con­tin­u­ing to dis­cuss football tac­tics, Kat dis­ap­pears to the flat to meet the mys­tery man.

My big­gest con­cern is how the cou­ple even man­age to kiss, given the amount of lip gloss Kat is now wear­ing. I’ll bet their mouths don’t so much meet as ski down each other. Her up­per lip is now threat­en­ing to en­gulf her nos­trils, and the lower is slalom­ing to­wards her chest. When will all be re­vealed? Christ­mas Day, I reckon. And here’s the lat­est on Bed­ding Watch at the Vic: still no change of sheets, pil­lows and du­vet, I am sad to re­port. There was clearly a job lot of this bur­gundy bed­ding, as Kat was wear­ing some of it as a top this week.

The Is Michael Ca­pa­ble of Be­ing a Fa­ther? saga drags on and will prob­a­bly do so un­til the child reaches 18. On Mon­day, Ja­nine is up­set when Michael fails to turn up for Scar­lett’s med­i­cal ap­point­ment and, on Tues­day, she still can’t shake off the feel­ing that Michael is only af­ter her money. Duh! Could it be the pa­pers he asks her to sign, mak­ing him a sig­na­tory to the busi­ness ac­counts? There might be a clue there.

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