The Irish Mail on Sunday - TV Week - - SEVEN DAYS -

If our own so­cial lives were like those of soap char­ac­ters, we would soon be jump­ing off cliffs to al­le­vi­ate the bore­dom. Take EastEn­ders’ An­thony and Alice. Derek made the lad prom­ise to treat Alice well, and she had a cou­ple of sug­ges­tions as to where they might go. In­evitably, that old ch­est­nut, Fargo’s, was up there, as well as ‘that new wine bar in the high street’ – have you no­ticed that ‘new’ places never have names? An­thony, who was try­ing to put Alice off him, opted for a take­away ke­bab in the Square, al­though I sus­pect that was still high on his so­phis­ti­ca­tion scale. There is also the Argee Bha­jee, of course, al­though nights there gen­er­ally de­scend into brawls in­volv­ing low-fly­ing pop­padoms.

In Coro­na­tion Street, there is lit­tle so­cial life out­side the Rovers, and quite why no-one legs it into Manch­ester at ev­ery op­por­tu­nity is any­body’s guess. The same is true of Em­merdale, where a warm, flat beer in the Wool­pack is the height of ex­cite­ment.

The young peo­ple of Hol­lyoaks en­joy more va­ri­ety so­cially, al­though the down­side of this is that their drink­ing and drug habits leave ev­ery other soap char­ac­ter stand­ing.

As for Neigh­bours and Home & Away, peo­ple are likely to be scut­tled off to re­hab if they so much as ask for a sec­ond beer.

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