Here’s to my first golden-oldies’ hol
guy at the desk, and he said, ‘You have to take a ticket first.’ So I went over to the dispenser, took a ticket — number 31 — and looked up; the notice board showed number 31, so I walk straight back to him. ‘This is like a comedy sketch!’ I said to him. Well, it made me laugh.
Then I’d been talking with my sister and a friend about booking a holiday. We’d been humming and hawing over cost, and time off, and after that I said, ‘Oh feck it, life is short. Come on!’ So we booked the last three seats on a flight to Crete in September, with some ridiculously low- price incident’. Then we calculated that those men would be pushing 80 now, and such situations probably won’t be a problem. They’d have to be coming at us on Zimmer frames. ‘Would recommend it to Nan, not friends,’ another review of our accommodation said. Sounds about right, then.
Later we were talking about that awful case in England of the man with locked-in syndrome who was refused the right to die in a court case recently. I think it’s appalling, but my friend Michelle argued that the legal system is in a bind because ‘of the precedent it might set’. ‘What, so we’re in Greece, you and Una smother me, and afterwards it’s a case of, “Oh sorry, we thought she had lockedin syndrome — we didn’t realise it was just a bad hangover?”’ I won that argument, I think.
And then my sis and I went to see the hit comedy Ted, about a guy whose best buddy is his talking childhood teddy bear. What a brilliant conceit. What a horrible film! Sexist — all the women in it are size zero and falling into the ‘I just want to get married’ good-girl category or ‘out-and-out whore’ bracket, with underlying narrative homophobia and dissing of minorities and low-wage workers.
Over pints after, I ranted at my sister about the sinister ideology I always see underpinning such films, an American ‘get rich or die trying’, sexist, macho aggressiveness. I told her about when I went to the Dublin premiere of a similar film, GrownUps... All the male millionaire stars, including Adam Sandler and Chris Rock, were corralled in a corner at the after-party, and their ‘super-rich on the back of propagating such rubbish’ arrogance really irritated me. So I went up to Chris Rock and said, ‘That film is execrable and your part in it beneath you,’ and a big security guy said to me ‘Move away!’ ‘Yeah, move away from the truth’, I said to Una.
‘I don’t get the ideology bit — they’re just bad films,’ she said. Maybe I just really do need that holiday in our ‘Nan-friendly’ resort...