The Irish Mail on Sunday - TV Week - - RADIO WEEK -

Arse­nal lost at home to Manch­ester United to­day, and Wayne Rooney scored to be­come the al l- t ime lead­ing goal-scorer against us in the Premier League.

I waited for my usual publ ic mes­sage of kind so­lic­i­ta­tion from him, and it duly came within an hour of the fi­nal whis­tle.

‘Hello @piersmor­gan how are you to­day old chap?’ he tweeted.

It was all he needed to say; eight words of en­tirely fake English po­lite­ness specif­i­cally se­lected for max­i­mum hu­mil­i­at­ing im­pact.

‘ Couldn’t be more mis­er­able, Shrek,’ I replied ( he doesn’t re­ally look any­thing like Shrek but once made the fa­tal mis­take of telling me that my nick­name an­noys him), ‘thanks for ask­ing.’

Rooney re­cently got his 100th cap for Eng­land and is now both his club and coun­try’s cap­tain.

David Beck­ham gets ten times the at­ten­tion and ac­co­lades, but I’d pick Wazza over Becksy in my team any time: great player, very funny din­ner com­pan­ion, and almost as lethal on so­cial me­dia as he is in front of goal.

‘David Beck­ham gets ten times the at­ten­tion and ac­co­lades, but I’d pick Wazza over Becksy in

my team any time’

time it was ever awarded in the plu­ral – I was mis­chie­vously seated next to Mel­lor so the cam­eras could cap­ture his in­evitable fury at hav­ing to sup with the devil. But to my as­ton­ish­ment, Mel­lor’s face broke into a gi­gan­tic warm grin when he saw me, and he raced to shake my hand.

‘I want to thank you for ex­pos­ing me,’ he chor­tled. ‘If you hadn’t done it when you did, my wife wouldn’t have given me a di­vorce.

‘So you re­ally did me a huge favour!’ Americans to­day bought more guns than on any day in their his­tory – bar one – with a Black Fri­day spend­ing spree that almost de­fies belief.

More than 175,000 firearms were sold in 48,000 gun stores – DOU­BLE the same day last year, and TRE­BLE a nor­mal day.

But it still wasn’t Amer­ica’s big­gest gun sales day.

That came on De­cem­ber 21, 2012, seven days after the Sandy Hook mas­sacre.

Be­cause Amer­ica’s only so­lu­tion to any gun mas­sacre is for ev­ery­one to race out and buy more guns. When peo­ple ask why I per­sist in my anti-gun cam­paign over here, this is why. agreed and sat wait­ing by my phone in Los An­ge­les at the very pre­cisely ar­ranged time. The call didn’t come. I waited 15 min­utes, then I texted Amanda ask­ing what was hap­pen­ing.

‘Sorry! Call­ing now!’ she quickly re­as­sured me.

I waited another 25 min­utes be­fore even­tu­ally los­ing pa­tience. ‘Have I got to wait here all day?’ ‘So, so sorry,’ came her re­sponse. ‘You got bumped for a George Clooney Downton Abbey promo!’ This may just be the sin­gle most hu­mil­i­at­ing mo­ment of my en­tire show­busi­ness ca­reer.

Two years ago, I in­ter­viewed ac­tress Jessica Alba and she told me about a new business she’d started called Hon­est, which made toxin-free baby prod­ucts. She de­scribed her­self as the company’s ‘Chief In­spi­ra­tion Of­fi­cer’ and re­vealed she had so few staff she was ac­tu­ally deal­ing with sales calls her­self.

When I asked why she was do­ing this when she could make easy mil­lions mak­ing movies, she replied: ‘When I was preg­nant, I had an al­ler­gic re­ac­tion to a de­ter­gent that’s geared specif­i­cally for chil­dren. And I was like, ‘‘ How can this be safe for ba­bies?’’ So I threw out all my prod­ucts and de­cided to in­ves­ti­gate it prop­erly and make my own. It’s some­thing I’m very pas­sion­ate about.’

To­day, Jessica em­ploys 200 peo­ple, Hon­est en­joyed sales of $150 mil­lion in 2014 and the company’s just been val­ued at $1 bil­lion.

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