JACI STEPHEN’S ultimate insight into the week’s soaps
And so, as John Lennon, sang, ‘This is Christmas’, although, in soapland, war is never over. During the coming week, the civil wars that take place in Weatherfield, Walford and Emmerdale every year, hit their peak with the usual rounds of infighting. On Christmas Day in Coronation Street, David and Callum come to blows, while Gary takes out his frustration on one of Faye’s presents. In EastEnders, Linda is a wreck, Shirley is wondering whether Sylvie will reveal her big secret, and a drunken Dean looks set to cause trouble, too.
Will Emmerdale break the miserable Christmas habit and deliver a lovely wedding between Katie and Andy, ten years after their first one, or will Robert put a spanner in the works? Or will Bernice put her own proverbial spanner in, when she turns up drunk at the church? I tell you, these nuptials look like being a veritable toolbox of disasters.
As I’ve said, it’s alcohol and sex that dominate the festivities, invariably with the former leading to the latter. Why anyone even bothers to buy a turkey is beyond me. There’s only one use for a carving knife in soapland on Christmas Day, and it’s nothing to do with poultry.