CLAU­DIA CON­NELL’S ul­ti­mate in­sight into the week’s soaps

The Irish Mail on Sunday - TV Week - - YOUR MOVIE PLANNER -

in­d­ing child­care in the real world, as any par­ent will tell you, is a tricky and ex­pen­sive business. If only they could ac­cess some of those 24-hour, seven- day-a-week fa­cil­i­ties that soap char­ac­ters seem to get their hands on so ef­fort­lessly. Take the Corona­tion Street ba­bies – that must be some un­der­stand­ing child-min­der that Kevin, Ty­rone, Katy and Izzy have. It ap­pears she’ll hap­pily look after the kids from first thing in the morn­ing un­til late at night, while her charges’ par­ents booze it up in the pub or the Bistro.

The well­be­ing of chil­dren in Wal­ford is a con­cern as well. Kat will make vague ref­er­ences to pick­ing Tommy up from ‘nurs­ery’, but who is look­ing after the twins all day while she works on the mar­ket stall? Where are Janet and Lexi, while Billy and Lola prop up the Queen Vic ev­ery night? The kids of Em­merdale are seen a lit­tle more of­ten but that doesn’t stop Mar­lon and Lau­rel con­stantly fret­ting over five-year-old April most nights... from their usual ta­ble at The Wool­pack. Is it any won­der soap kids end up go­ing so spec­tac­u­larly off the rails? It’s Mick’s birth­day and, as we know all l too well, Carter birthdays don’t tend to be e happy oc­ca­sions. Shirley ar­rives with a gift for her brother-turned-son and doesn’tt miss an op­por­tu­nity to lay into Linda, , ac­cus­ing her of ly­ing about Dean.

The next day Mick takes Linda to the e po­lice sta­tion to for­merly re­port the rape (above), and later they re­alise they have to tell their chil­dren what’s hap­pened. They de­cide to break the news to Nancy and Lee over one of their fa­mous fam­ily meals. Pre­dictably, all hell breaks loose with Lee los­ing his tem­per and later at­tack­ing Dean.

It’s all too much for Stan, whose health is rapidly de­te­ri­o­rat­ing. He asks a huge favour of Mick and Tina – and it’s noth­ing to do with bor­row­ing Mick’s car or Tina’s fake tan.

Else­where, Sharon dis­cov­ers Ben has ac­ci­den­tally handed The Arches over to Max and tries to rea­son with him that he should give it back. Three guesses how th that t worksk out.t

Things aren’t look­ing good for Phil, who is still banged up, with no means to get him­self out. At least it gives us the chance to count how many times he can say ‘Old Bill’ in one episode.

Here’s the crazy thing: the Mitchells know the truth about Nick be­ing re­spon­si­ble for tam­per­ing with Roxy’s car, but they don’t want to get Charlie in trou­ble for har­bour­ing his dad.

The scriptwrit­ers have tied them­selves up in se­ri­ous knots with this whole Nick and Charlie fake death, fake cop­per sto­ry­line, and the sooner it’s brought to an end the bet­ter.

LINDA GOES TO THE PO­LICE RIERIGNCITIETDFYLAME

FOR CHAR­ITY AND CAIN?

A CLIFFHANGER OF A COACH TRIP

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ALL’S FAIR IN LOVE AND WORK

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