Just before kick- off at the Arsenal game today Lawrie McMenemy, legendary former manager and TV pundit, came over and greeted me with surprising warmth given I couldn’t recall ever meeting him.
We chatted for a few minutes, then he said: ‘ What are you doing here anyway, thought you were a Burnley man?’ The penny dropped with a sickening thud. ‘Lawrie, you think I’m Alastair Campbell, don’t you?’
His face creased in contorted confusion. ‘I’m Piers Morgan,’ I clarified. Greyhounds have left a trap slower than Lawrie departed.
I narrowly avoided a similarly excruciating incident last week when I spied Sir Patrick Stewart emerging from a lift at Claridge’s.
Or rather, I thought it was Sir Patrick, with whom I recently enjoyed a very amenable breakfast in Los Angeles. ‘Hi!’ I cried, cheerfully. ‘Hi,’ he mumbled back, with oddly muted enthusiasm.
It was only then that I realised it was our OTHER great, bald British acting knight, Sir Ben Kingsley. trip to Paris today, and insisted on defying my advice not to go.
‘No terrorist is going to stop me shopping,’ she declared firmly.
Which is, of course, the perfect response.
‘Hi Piers,’ said Charlize, kissing me – to the dismay of every other man there
Sean Penn held his annual fundraising event for Haiti tonight at the Montage hotel in Beverly Hills.
Unlike many of his fellow thespians who talk a good game with their charity work but rarely match it with physical deeds, Sean has lived in Haiti for nearly half of the past five years, helping them rebuild their country after the dreadful earthquake.
I’ve got to know him quite well over the years and he’s a magnificently complex bundle of passion, aggression, fun, acting genius and mischief. He’s also dating Charlize Theron, arguably the single most beautiful woman in Hollywood. She caught my eye by the bar during the pre- dinner cocktail party tonight and shimmied over in a breathtakingly sheer, short, sparkly beaded black dress.
‘Hi Piers,’ she said, kissing me on both cheeks to the openmouthed dismay of every other man in the room.
‘ How are you?’ I asked. To which the accurate response would have been ‘a million dollars, thanks’ – but Charlize is more modest than me. ‘Exhausted!’ she laughed. ‘We had my son’s third birthday party this afternoon – have you any idea how tiring boys of that age can be?’ (Charlize adopted young Jackson Theron soon after he was born.) ‘Actually I do, I’ve had three of them.’ ‘Really?’ ‘Yes, and I have a three-year- old daughter too.’ ‘Do you have a picture of her?’ I pulled out my phone from my