Lust in THE DUST
It was a serious case of love at first sight when the Evans clan took a Ford Raptor into the desert for some off-road action...
The family and I have just returned from La-La Land. We would have stayed longer but had to be back in time for CarFest South this weekend, which we wouldn’t miss for the world. That said, I cannot tell you how much Tash, I and the ankle-biters loved our first taste of southern California as a full-on family experience.
Fast-forward to 3am on our first morning: there we were, all four of us in the same bed, sitting bolt upright, wide awake with jet-lag, watching ABC News: ‘This morning’s headlines: there’s been a hitch with California’s new hi-tech earthquake early warning system. Don’t forget you only have a few hours left to buy your ticket for tonight’s $350 m lottery jackpot. And Airbnb has just added Donald Trump’s boyhood home to its listings, complete with a cardboard cutout of The Donald in the living room. Seven hundred and twenty-five bucks a night!’
That’s the last thing I remember before…
‘Mr Evans, your Ford Raptor has arrived. Would you like me to have it brought out front for you?’
Eh? I thought we’d hired a Mustang but the pesky folk here at More had sneakily organised the surprise of all surprises.
‘Daaaaaad, it’s amaaaaazing!’ screamed No.1 son. ‘Daaaaaaad, its MASSIVE!’ screamed son No.2.
OMG! What a thing! And the perfect viewing platform for taking in the sights of Tinseltown: Height: 78.5in. Width: 86.3in. Length: 231.9in. Wheelbase: 146in. Ground clearance: 9.8in.
Inside, the ‘super crew cab’ is so big, a different time zone may well apply for those sitting in the back.
Now, before I get on to what this off-road miracle is truly capable of (which involved taking it to a real desert!), I cannot overemphasise how spectacularly it performed out on the highway.
It is so ridiculously, shockingly quick: 0-100km/h in 5.5 seconds is simply incredible for a lump this size, thanks to the revolutionary 3.5-l V6 ecoboost engine – so much smaller and yet much more powerful than the former, bigger ozone-killers – and a 500 lb weight reduction to boot.
But, most impressive of all, is how lightly it wears all this available power.
Any discerning Range Rover owner will tell you, as mighty as their trusty chariots may be, they leave you in no doubt as to who’s doing all the heavy lifting. Equally impressive is how well the Raptor handles, more Porsche than pick-up, the whole package so un-truck-like. But frankly, so what? Take away its size and hundreds
‘AMAZING PROWESS ON AND OFF ROAD… AND OH-SO QUICK’
of cars can do all of the above nowadays. Which is why… Cut to… Early Sunday morning and all aboard to meet Michael Levine from Ford USA at a place called Hungry Valley, 110km north of Hollywood.
After growling our way up through the mountains – and spotting our first genuine ‘Bears crossing’ sign, to whoops of excitement all round – an hour later we were pulling up to a red and white barrier manned by the smiliest rangers on God’s Earth. ‘Hi folks, how can we help you today?’ ‘We have no idea what we’re doing.’ ‘Hey, join the club.’ For a meagre $5 per vehicle, Hungry Valley – a national park designated exclusively for off-roading consisting of thousands of square kilometres of huge dunes and dry river beds – is yours for the taking. ‘You simply couldn’t come to California, take a Raptor for the week and not off-road it,’ enthused Mike as we charged skywards up our first 200m, 40-degree incline.
The same tracks we crawled back down seconds later, in auto hill descent mode. Steering only required, both feet off the pedals, flat on the floor, the mighty Raptor otherwise in complete control of both us and all of its own twoand-a-half tons of body mass.
Thirsty work for any machine but especially this titan, which is why there’s a 36-gallon/800kmrange ‘gas tank’ hidden down there somewhere.
‘Right, that was only the warmup!’ beamed Mike. It was time to select ‘Baja’ mode, Ford’s technological tribute to the legendary desert rally in California that inspired the birth of the original Raptor more than a decade, five litres and eight cylinders ago.
How to skim a 19ft wonder wagon across dusty desert wash in one quick lesson. Think Winter Olympics and giant slalom meets offshore powerboat racing but on wheels, with air-conditioning, electric seats and no need for a back surgeon.
Ford’s mission statement is that Raptor owners should be actively encouraged to achieve full air (all four wheels off the ground), fearing nothing more than their first multiple cargasm. In which case, mission accomplished.
‘This is the most durable extreme performance vehicle ever produced,’ hollered Mike as we gunned, slipped and drifted down yet another arid tunnel of controlled chaos. Ford has tested and destroyed hundreds of Raptors and tens of thousands of components in its development (so we don’t have to).
This is also how they conjured up more than 13in of suspension travel all round to allow the Raptor to fly. Combine such alchemy with all that gobsmacking power, a bomb-proof chassis and all that’s left for us mere mortals to do is put our trust in the dust.
This vehicle is immense in all areas: power, performance, payload and unbelievable prowess both on- and off-road.
But here’s why I am already declaring it More’s car of the year 2017: can you believe a double Super Crew (the biggest) Raptor starts at $50k, with all parts guaranteed for either 10 years or 240,000km? How is that even possible?
This is the third car in five years of writing this column that has caused my family to threaten to fire me unless further enquiries are made as to potential future Evans ownership… even though the Raptor is sold only in the US.