Selected extracts from the Popjustice dictionary. Amazing Records By Dreadful Artists Recent examples include Razorlight’s In The Morning and Paris Hilton’s Stars Are Blind. Brian Molko The sound of all things bad. Probably what Satan plays if he’s having an “I hate the world” day. Weasel-faced pipsqueak to be avoided at all costs. Buzz Band The most hopeless new band you will hear this week. Do not worry that they will ever trouble any chart – ever. CD:UK Almost got right everything latter day Top of the Pops got so very wrong. Almost. But even “kooky” Lauren Laverne couldn’t save this sinking ship. Cheeky Girls Transylvanian twin pop tartlets, possible nieces of Count Dracula. In their quest for fame they whored themselves out to reality TV until they brainwashed some poor soul into giving them a record contract. 5ive Many of the original body parts can still be found today on ebay. They usually retail for between £7 and £10. Nelly Furtado – doing a To alienate all your fans by releasing a folk-inspired sophomore album, only then to reinvent yourself as an urban queen creating chav anthems everywhere you go. Paris Hilton Cloven-footed heiress whose dad can afford to make her a pop star, if only so her mind is on other things than making any more squeaking on another porn tape. Pussycat Dolls Five reasons why dancers usually stay quite near the back of pop videos. “This is our next single” This is often not the case. As all too often there never is a ‘next single’ and everyone, apart from the one saying these ill-fated words, is well aware of this.