That damned Dame and her dirty mouth

The Irish Times - Friday - The Ticket - - News -

God, that Judi Dench is such a f**king buttmunch! Of course she isn’t. We met the Dame a few years back and she was ev­ery bit as lovely as you might ex­pect. We were just con­duct­ing an ex­per­i­ment.

A rep­re­sen­ta­tive of the Bri­tish Board of Film Clas­si­fi­ca­tion, writ­ing in that body’s an­nual re­port, has re­vealed that the one thing that is guar­an­teed to gen­er­ate com­plaints is cussing from the Dench­ster. “Al­most ev­ery time Dame Judi swears in a film, re­gard­less of its cat­e­gory, we can ex­pect a num­ber of com­plaints,” the BBFC’s chap said.

This year’s scan­dal was about blue lan­guage in Quan­tum of So­lace. It seems that, of the six se­ri­ous com­plaints the board re­ceived about the Bond flick, four con­cerned Dench-filth and two were from view­ers who had mis­taken a shadow on an­other char­ac­ter’s leg for gen­i­talia. (Who are th­ese morons?)

Mind you, M’s out­bursts in Quan­tum of So­lace were rel­a­tively mild in com­par­i­son with the ob­scen­i­ties ut­tered by Dench in Mrs Hen­der­son Presents (“Fid­dler’s f**k) and Notes on a Scan­dal (some­thing much worse). One imag­ines that screen­ings of those films were reg­u­larly in­ter­rupted by the noise of faint­ing dowa­gers.

What does it all mean? The most likely ex­pla­na­tion is that Dench draws in older view­ers who have been to the cin­ema only rarely since Easy Rider was re­leased. God bless them.

Judi Dench as M pre­pares to un­leash some choice ex­ple­tives

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