The great unwashed wash
Did you hear that shot ring out over Electric Picnic in the early hours of Sunday morning? It’s rumoured festival organisers called in a vet to examine Bonnie Tyler after she sprained her fetlock joint by tripping over a big heap of irony during a power outage at the Electric Ireland Power House. The vet felt a bullet was the most humane way to deal with it.
It was just as well the vet was on site. Whispers circulated around Stradbally that Philip King collapsed at the Other Voices Stage when a ridiculously reverential, breathy and hushed introduction for Hozier got out of control and he forgot to breathe. One audience member said: “It was a special privilege to witness such an intimate . . . and . . . unique . . . event . . . in . . . ” just before they also collapsed from a lack of oxygen.
The vet recommended that each audience member should be supplied with a breathing apparatus in the rarified setting of St James Church for the filming of Other Voices in Dingle this Decem- ber. The vet also suggested that Philip should preside over this years’ series from an iron lung in the foyer of Benners Hotel.
Unfortunately André 3000 didn’t make it to Hendrixville to promote the biopic that sees him playing Jimi. His red-head advert would have worked a treat there, and if he’d caught the Co Down Buckfast Bottle Orchestra in their encampment, he could have invited them up to play with Outkast. It would’ve only improved a set that