The great un­washed wash

The Irish Times - Friday - The Ticket - - FUN & GAMES -

Did you hear that shot ring out over Elec­tric Pic­nic in the early hours of Sun­day morn­ing? It’s ru­moured fes­ti­val or­gan­is­ers called in a vet to ex­am­ine Bon­nie Tyler after she sprained her fet­lock joint by trip­ping over a big heap of irony dur­ing a power ou­tage at the Elec­tric Ire­land Power House. The vet felt a bul­let was the most hu­mane way to deal with it.

It was just as well the vet was on site. Whis­pers cir­cu­lated around Strad­bally that Philip King col­lapsed at the Other Voices Stage when a ridicu­lously rev­er­en­tial, breathy and hushed in­tro­duc­tion for Hozier got out of con­trol and he for­got to breathe. One au­di­ence mem­ber said: “It was a spe­cial priv­i­lege to wit­ness such an in­ti­mate . . . and . . . unique . . . event . . . in . . . ” just be­fore they also col­lapsed from a lack of oxy­gen.

The vet rec­om­mended that each au­di­ence mem­ber should be sup­plied with a breath­ing ap­pa­ra­tus in the rar­i­fied set­ting of St James Church for the film­ing of Other Voices in Din­gle this De­cem- ber. The vet also sug­gested that Philip should pre­side over this years’ se­ries from an iron lung in the foyer of Ben­ners Ho­tel.

Un­for­tu­nately An­dré 3000 didn’t make it to Hen­drixville to pro­mote the biopic that sees him play­ing Jimi. His red-head ad­vert would have worked a treat there, and if he’d caught the Co Down Buck­fast Bot­tle Orches­tra in their en­camp­ment, he could have in­vited them up to play with Outkast. It would’ve only im­proved a set that

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