BBC savage a classic; but it makes a good ad
Hurray! A performance of one of my favourite songs, God Only Knows by the Beach Boys. Okay, the orchestra’s tuning up. That’s a little annoying – they could have done that before we came in – but let’s bear with it. (A few seconds pass) Splutter! This is a terrible choir! None of them has bothered to learn all the words or to sing at the same time. Chris Martin is actually lying down. And the only people singing together are those asymmetrically coiffured toddlers shortly after the halfway mark (editor’s note: that’s One Direction).
They couldn’t be doing it on purpose, could they? It doesn’t make narrative sense to divide this song up line-by-line. It’s a first-person love song not a play. Do all 27 of these people constitute one continuous consciousness, knowable only to God in my absence? I find that hard to believe.
As for the production! Why is Kylie floating around in a bubble? Everyone knows she’s not allowed have bubble mixture. And who covered Deirdre Barlow in butterflies? (Editor’s note: that’s actually Elton John). One call to pest-control and I could have this place shut down!
Also, many of the performers appear to be in the sky – on balloons, up ladders, sitting on half-moons. That Paloma Faith is careening on a sort of celestial swing. It’s a goddamned sound engineering/ health-and-safety disaster. And is that tiger going to savage Brian Wilson to metaphorically represent what’s been done to his song? I’m no zoologist, but almost definitely.
What? This is actually a star-studded promotion for BBC Music? Oh, I like it so. It’s only as music that it’s daft. As an ad it’s genius.