Money for noth­ing and kicks for free

The Irish Times - Friday - The Ticket - - TICKET STUBS - Emily Long­worth

Vi­tal to the en­joy­ment of a mu­sic fes­ti­val is blow­ing fat stacks of a money lav­ishly and with­out heed. For the un­re­pen­tant punt-spend­ing punter, the range of showy, use­less tri­fles is thank­fully grow­ing yearly.

Ed­i­ble and wearable pur­chases are of­ten out­done by in­tan­gi­ble goods, in­di­cat­ing a ris­ing trend in the ex­change of money for noth­ing.

Pop­u­lar favourites in this cat­e­gory in­clude the Emo­tional Bag­gage Cloak­room of Elec­tric Pic­nic 2013 fame, fea­tur­ing end­less stor­age space for all Catholic guilt and un­re­quited love is­sues. Los­ing check-in tick­ets was ac­tively en­cour­aged. Else­where, the Tough Love Booth is giv­ing it back. Give the ma­tron a quid and she’ll tell you to suck it up and get your damn life to­gether (and she’s damn right, you ab­so­lute mess).

The best of fash­ion sales is with­out fail the Hat Stall, all 17 of them (and please note that all hats at the Hat Stand stand are for dis­play pur­poses only).

In food, don’t gourmet cod your­self with reg­u­lar muck, and seek out the most ar­ti­san muck you can find in­stead. Culi­nary trends for 2015 in­clude pulled car­rot sand­wiches, honey roasted bees, craft sweet potato and any­thing sepia coloured (this rule ap­plies to the se­lec­tion of slow-roasted to­bacco too).

The se­cret to ab­sorb­ing the true fes­ti­val spirit is re­gret­ting the ma­jor­ity of all pur­chases, so make it count.

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