Mu­sic to make you drive safely

Sci­en­tists have writ­ten a song to give you a light foot, but steer clear of ‘Back in Black’ and ‘Toxic’

The Irish Times - Friday - The Ticket - - TICKET STUBS - Katy Har­ring­ton

Heart­en­ing news for driv­ers, dev­as­tat­ing news for any­one with ears: a sci­en­tist has cre­ated “the world’s safest song to lis­ten to while driv­ing”.

Safe In Sound was com­posed by pro­fes­sional mu­si­cians and a doc­tor by the name of Si­mon Moore. Aimed at young driv­ers in par­tic­u­lar, the song is ap­par­ently the prod­uct of ex­ten­sive sci­en­tific re­search into mu­sic that makes for “bet­ter brak­ing, ac­cel­er­at­ing and alert­ness”. What re­lief then for the par­ents of young driv­ers every­where who need never worry again about pre­cious Sorcha or dar­ling Hugo to­tal­ing mummy’s Land Rover.

Of course, there are ab­so­lutely no pot­holes in this in­ge­nious (and pos­si­bly well-in­ten­tioned) plan to cut down on crashes, be­cause if one thing’s for sure it’s that teenagers will cer­tainly re­spond to a mu­si­cal rec­om­men­da­tion from a char­tered psy­chol­o­gist with a “spe­cial­ist knowl­edge of cus­tomer-brand per­sonas”, what­ever that means.

The other span­ner in the works is that for the song to make any im­pact, you would need to lis­ten to it on re­peat, deny­ing your in­nate per­sonal free­doms and re­sist­ing the temp­ta­tion to switch to Devil Mu­sic FM for a bit of respite.

Hav­ing heard the song, that sit­u­a­tion seems as likely as your Volk­swa­gen be­ing en­vi­ron­men­tally friendly. Safe In Sound (avail­able from Spo­tify and Sound­cloud) sounds like the hold mu­sic at an or­tho­don­tist’s surgery with Barry Manilow’s de­ranged lovechild play­ing a Ca­sio key­board in the back­ground. Per­haps a more sen­si­ble road-safety strat­egy would be to sim­ply avoid blar­ing AC/DC’s Back in Black and Brit­ney Spears’ (above) Toxic (the songs deemed most likely to make you crash). Dr Moore’s re­search may also cause fans of Bob Mar­ley, Me­tal­lica, Jay Z and Jamie Cul­lum (I defy you to find a Jamie Cul­lum fan) to re­con­sider their mu­si­cal per­sua­sions be­hind the wheel too, as reg­gae, heavy metal, hip hop and jazz were found to en­cour­age bad driv­ing.

That said, if you can en­dure all three min­utes and 51 sec­onds of Safe In Sound with­out driv­ing your car into a tree then con­grat­u­la­tions.

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