#Sea­son­alSteal

Don’t ex­pect Bill Mur­ray to be get­ting into the steal­ing spirit

The Irish Times - Friday - The Ticket - - NEWS - Emily Long­worth

The spirit of thiev­ing is in the air, gen­tly re­mind­ing all that Christ­mas is the most won­der­ful time to swipe gear. Bill Mur­ray’ s pro­posed pin ching of Wu Tang Clan’ s one-of-a-kind record was the or­der of the day last week. The walk­ing rep­re­sen­ta­tive of big ph arm a Martin S kr eli bought the only print of Wu Tang’s Once Upon A Time in Sh a olin at auc­tion, pre­sum­ably with all the clams he raked in from hik­ing the price of an es­sen­tial Aids medicine by 5,000 per­cent.

In the wake of his pur­chase, a con­tract was cir­cu­lated fea­tur­ing top-class legalese. It per­mit­ted ei­ther the clan “and/or ac­tor Bill Mur­ray” to legally “plan and at­tempt to ex­e­cute one(1) heist or ca­per to steal back Once Upon Upon A Time In Sh a olin ”. If Robin Hood could ex­ist in the mod­ern day, ev­ery­one would want him in the form of Bill Mur­ray.

Un fort una tel, y the prospect of a big fat escapade in which Mur­ray and the clan over­come all ob­sta­cles to save the day was ru­ined by the non-ex­is­tence of the clause. It in­stead tran­spired that some lad drafted and scanned a page of text and tweet edit. Typ­i­cal me­dia, not tri­an­gu­lat­ing sources[ ci­ta­tion needed ].

Guitarist for The Strokes Al­bert Ham­mond Jr( left ), though, has been much more proac­tive. He caught am an swip­ing his wife’ s wal­let this week and he out right decked him. Some CCTV footage of the at­tempt shows a heap of peo­ple get­ting into a scuf­fle not dis­sim­i­lar to a car­toon dust ball of fight­ing bod­ies that em its oc­ca­sional ric­o­chet sounds. He go this wife’ s stuff back, while in­still­ing the Fear of God in all.

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