Jennifer Lawrence as Mystique in X-Men Apocalypse
X-MEN APOCALYPSE Directed by Bryan Singer. Starring James McAvoy, Michael Fassbender, Jennifer Lawrence, Oscar Isaac, Nicholas Hoult, Rose Byrne, Tye Sheridan, Sophie Turner, Olivia Munn, Lucas Till 12A cert, gel release, 143 min With a nod to the profoundly unfashionable Chariots of the Gods (not to mention the recent swords and sandals mega-flop Gods of Egypt), the ninth film from the X-Men sequence opens in ancient Egypt, where En Sabah Nur (Oscar Isaacs, criminally wasted) aka Ra, the Sun God, aka Apocalypse aka Fuzzy Bunny (no, not really) has spent centuries syphoning out gnarly sat-upon wife, Aislin (Andrea Riseborough), who washed up on the shores of their remote Scottish island.
That origin story does not come close to explaining Aislin’s bizarre accent, but there is much that does not add up here. Why would such a fanatic marry a woman who refuses to attend his beloved church and who, as a practicing herbalist, is, to his mind, practically a demonologist?
As his flock prepares to fly away, the increasingly demented Balor draws comfort from wife bullying – his own and sometimes other people’s wives, such as a browbeaten powers from other mutants to become a super mutant. Fisticuffs ensue and the super mutant is buried, only to emerge during the Reagan era.
So what, exactly, does this fearsome entity with mad skills want with four flunkies? Does he need his bins taken out? And what’s worse, one of the quartet is Olivia Munn’s mesmerisingly useless Psylocke. Her super powers include: holding her laser rope/sword the right way up, standing with her legs shoulder-width apart and dressing like a stripper.
She is joined by handier mutants, including a recently traumatised, now mad-as-hell Magneto (Michael Fassbender), Angel ( EastEnders’ Ben
Cold comfort crank: Damian Lewis in The Silent Storm
Kate Dickie, who is scolded about duty when she attempts to complain about her alcohol-