Things you used to do: Old vs new

Jamaica Gleaner - - FLAIR - Krysta An­der­son Life­style Writer

JA­MAICA HAS a pop­u­lar proverb: “Si mi an come live with mi a two dif­fer­ent thing.” When trans­lated, it reads to see me and to live with me are two very dif­fer­ent things. For many part­ners, the key to a happy life is con­sis­tency. So Flair de­cided to ex­plore the fa­mous say­ing a lit­tle fur­ther, with a twist.

Wel­come to ‘Things You Used to Do: Old vs New’, where we will share from the cou­ples’ per­spec­tive things they once did in the be­gin­ning of the re­la­tion­ship, which they no longer do, or do dif­fer­ently. Their re­sponses may sur­prise you, so buckle up for this ride on the roller coaster of past to present.

One of the things that stood out for me was the level of con­vers­ing. In the ini­tial stages, we couldn’t stop talk­ing to each other. I mean con­stantly, want­ing to know what was hap­pen­ing. But af­ter a while, the con­ver­sa­tions weren’t as stim­u­lat­ing so com­mu­ni­ca­tion fell off. This has hap­pened in every sin­gle re­la­tion­ship I’ve had. Things like, he used to write me po­ems and then he stopped. I will get one every now and then af­ter I cuss, but in ini­tial days I used to get one every day. – H.M., fe­male, in a re­la­tion­ship for two year.

My wife used to pam­per me, cut­ting my nails and at­tend­ing to my feet be­fore mar­riage. Af­ter mar­riage, that stopped com­pletely. – R.S., male, mar­ried for nine years.

If any­thing, I’ve prob­a­bly been less at­ten­tive in the at­ten­tion depart­ment of our re­la­tion­ship be­cause we are both go­ing to school and work­ing. But when we can, we go out of town, when we have the time, and spend qual­ity time to­gether. – J.M., male, in a re­la­tion­ship for five years.

My boyfriend smoked very of­ten. It’s gen­er­ally some­thing I’m not at­tracted to, es­pe­cially when I get a whiff of the odour from that cig­a­rette or weed when we kiss. Now, he doesn’t smoke like be­fore. Only when we go to a party, and it’s still not on every oc­ca­sion. Apart from that he doesn’t smoke at all. Also, we are both dancers and when we go to par­ties, guys and ladies might want to ‘buss a wine’ with us in­di­vid­u­ally. He doesn’t like it and nei­ther do I, so we ba­si­cally cut that out also. My only dance part­ner is him, and it’s the same with him, even if we aren’t at the same party. We re­spect each other to not do it. – S.D, fe­male, in a re­la­tion­ship for six years.

My girl­friend cooked when­ever she could, which was of­ten enough be­cause I was the worka­holic of the re­la­tion­ship. Now, be­cause work ran­domly keeps her out late, she is not able to as much dur­ing the week and I miss her cook­ing. – G.W., male, in a re­la­tion­ship three years.

When we were just dat­ing, I used to re­ceive freshly picked flow­ers ei­ther as a cheer-me-up or just be­cause. Now that he has stepped up to a sin­gle rose, I’ll get one only once in a while on spe­cial oc­ca­sions, or when he has done some­thing ter­ri­ble and wants to makeup. – A.A, fe­male, in a re­la­tion­ship for four years.

When my boyfriend and I met each other, we were both lovers of mu­sic. It was no sur­prise that when we met up af­ter classes we would play our favourite type of mu­sic, ‘lovers rock’, cook and just share mem­o­ries and ex­pe­ri­ences we’ve had be­fore we met each other. This brought us closer, but af­ter we got closer, these ‘lovers ses­sions’ were no more. Though we let go of old habits, we have gained new ones. Now that we live to­gether, we en­sure we have date nights and take time to talk. How­ever, re­cently we have re­newed our ‘lovers ses­sions’. – K.G, fe­male, in a re­la­tion­ship for four years.

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