Soul­ful Oa­sis: Re­lease what no longer serves you

Jamaica Gleaner - - FLAIR FEATURE - Kaysha Franklin Con­trib­u­tor Kaysha is founder of Un­apolo­get­i­cally WOMEN and co-host of Soul­ful Oa­sis Al­lIn­clu­sive re­treat. For more tips and tools on liv­ing life on pur­pose join UW for their re­treat in Ne­gril where they will be deal­ing with this theme al

“Bag Lady, you gone miss your bus; you can’t hurry up, cause you got too much stuff ... One day all them bags gone get in your way. One day all them gone get in your way. I said one day ... all them bags gone get in your way ...” – Erykah Baddu

RE­CENTLY ON a Smile Ja­maica in­ter­view, we started our con­ver­sa­tion on re­leas­ing what no longer serves you with this song. I love this song! Aside from its ab­so­lutely rhyth­mic melody, Erykah Baddu is spout­ing some truth in it. “You gone miss your bus, coz you got too much stuff, yes you’ve got too much stuff ...” and the song, with its beau­ti­ful melody, goes on in my head.

While this song is specif­i­cally re­lated to women who carry bag­gage from re­la­tion­ship to re­la­tion­ship and, as a re­sult, lessen their chances of suc­cess­ful re­la­tion­ships in the fu­ture, the un­der­ly­ing point of the song is ap­pli­ca­ble to all ar­eas of our life – in­clud­ing sit­u­a­tions, cir­cum­stances, peo­ple and things which no longer serve us.

If our hair is break­ing, the hair­dresser cuts it, and if a tree isn’t sprout­ing, it is pruned. Both of these ac­tions are done to pro­mote growth. Sim­i­larly, when things are no longer serv­ing us and some­times suck­ing the life en­ergy out of us, we need to learn how to re­lease and sur­ren­der them with love.

Now, I can at­test that this can be chal­leng­ing, and is much eas­ier said than done. Some of the more dif­fi­cult re­lease-and-sur­ren­der mo­ments in my life have seen me holed up in my room, ly­ing in my bed for the bet­ter part of the day as I try to wrap my mind around why I must now do what I have to do.


How­ever, as dif­fi­cult as those mo­ments have been, I’ve never re­gret­ted them, and I know with­out a shadow of a doubt that they al­ways cre­ated space for even big­ger and bet­ter pos­si­bil­i­ties and growth in my life.

I’m not spe­cial in this re­gard, and just as re­leas­ing cer­tain things have cre­ated space for big­ger and bet­ter things for me, it can be the same for you.

The tricky thing is that we some­times don’t know when to re­lease, or at least we try to con­vince our­selves of that. Now, while there is no com­pre­hen­sive list to dic­tate when you should re­lease some­thing, you ul­ti­mately have to use your heart as a guide. Here are a few tips on when I think it truly is time to let go:

1. If the thought of some­thing, some­one or a par­tic­u­lar sit­u­a­tion causes you to feel phys­i­cally ex­hausted, men­tally drained or sick, it’s time to let go.

2. If you’ve been in re­la­tion­ship, job, or other sit­u­a­tions for what seems like for­ever and you can see no per­sonal growth or ma­tu­rity, it’s time to let go.

3. If what­ever you are car­ry­ing feels like you are car­ry­ing a 200pound man or more, it’s time to let go.

At our core, if we are hon­est with our­selves, we al­ways know when it’s time, but we of­ten feel pow­er­less to do it. Trust me, you aren’t pow­er­less! Put on your big­girl pants and step out on faith, with the knowl­edge that you are open­ing up your­self to great and bound­less pos­si­bil­i­ties.


Just be­cause some­thing is fa­mil­iar doesn’t mean it has to be part of your life all the days of your life. As we grow, change and evolve, we will have to leave cer­tain per­sons, places, things and non­sense be­hind, and that’s OK. In fact, in many in­stances, this is the true in­di­ca­tor of growth, so em­brace it.

As I close out my four weeks of shar­ing with you in Flair Mag­a­zine, about me, my brand and our re­treat, I in­vite you to join us for our week­end of ex­plo­ration, re­ju­ve­na­tion, shar­ing and grow­ing at the beau­ti­ful Sun­set at the Palms in Ne­gril.

We in­tend to push past our com­fort zones, stretch the lim­its of our minds and come away feel­ing more beau­ti­ful, con­scious and amaz­ing than we ever have been leav­ing ev­ery­thing which no longer serves us right there in Ne­gril!

And re­mem­ber: Do you. Be you. Jump off into your ‘amaz­ing’ ... un­apolo­get­i­cally.

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