Lawd, dem fool!

Jamaica Gleaner - - FLAIR FASHION - Link me at daviot.kelly@glean­erjm.com

NOW, WE’RE all hu­man be­ings and we all make mis­takes (trust me, I know). But bwoy, some peo­ple mek this ting called life look too hard.

We all have dif­fer­ent lev­els of in­tel­lect, but quite frankly, some peo­ple jus’ fool-fool. But first, a lit­tle back­ground. The iPhone 7 and iPhone 7 Plus smart­phones were launched last month. By the way, you see how fast we reach Oc­to­ber? The phones do not come with a 3.5mil­lime­tre head­phone jack. For the not so tech-savvy, that’s the lit­tle hole where you plug in what­ever you use to lis­ten to your mu­sic or videos. Now the lack of jack (sorry, I had to), while not ex­actly a new move (a few phone man­u­fac­tur­ers have done it be­fore) was dif­fer­ent for iPhone users. So now you have to use: a) head­phones with the con­nec­tion that matches the phone; b) a wire­less head­phone; or c) a spe­cial adap­tor to at­tach your ‘reg­u­lar’ head­phones to.

Now to the fool part. I’ve al­ways felt that most of the peo­ple who buy high-end smart­phones don’t re­ally use them to their full po­ten­tial. Dem have money, and is the lat­est fad, so dem buy it. But dem nuh re­ally know how to use it, and some a dem stupid pon top a dat. This was proved to me last week, when I read that a video came up on the In­ter­net show­ing peo­ple how to use a drill (yes, a drill) to pierce the new iPhone (huh?) and cre­ate the space for the head­phone jack. Now, the fact that some­body had time on their hands to do this crappy video is dis­turb­ing. The fact that some peo­ple ac­tu­ally tried it is down­right mad­ness. Pass di strait­jacket and seda­tives, carry dem peo­ple yah a Belle­vue fi me, please.

Now, in this day and age, there are as many help­ful videos as there are fake ones. And in fair­ness, I be­lieve the ma­jor­ity of per­sons are ac­tu­ally able to spot a fake video when they see one. Ap­par­ently, the peo­ple who ac­tu­ally tek up dem good good Black and Decker or Crafts­man drill and put one hole inna di phone dem are not among that group of in­di­vid­u­als.

And to make mat­ters worse, some of these buf­foons (be­cause, quite frankly, if you thought drilling would ac­tu­ally work, you are a buf­foon) took to so­cial me­dia to com­plain that it didn’t pro­duce the de­sired re­sult. Now, it’s one thing to do some­thing dumb. It’s a com­pletely dif­fer­ent thing to tell the world you did!

LEARN DI HARD WAY

Can you imag­ine if mi buy my girl­friend (clearly speak­ing hy­po­thet­i­cally here) one iPhone and she go do dat?! Wha she woulda tell me say? I hope she know is not me would be pay­ing to try and fix it. Bet­ter yet, mi would not be buy­ing her an­other one. Even if me have Dubai oil money, mi not do­ing it. Some­times yuh haffi learn di hard way. Any­body who did drill di phone need fi figet phone and use an abeng or smoke sig­nal. Fool!

AP The light­ning port of an iPhone 7 is shown dur­ing an event to an­nounce new Ap­ple Inc prod­ucts.

KELLY

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