Hus­band kicked preg­nant daugh­ter out of home

Jamaica Gleaner - - SPORTS - Email: ed­i­tor@glean­erjm.com

Q: Our teenage daugh­ter is preg­nant and my hus­band told her to leave the home. This is a dras­tic shift on the part of my hus­band be­cause she was the ap­ple of his eye. She is now in sixth form and did very well in her ex­am­i­na­tions. My hus­band would boast to rel­a­tives and friends of how well she did in school. He was de­lighted that his daugh­ter did bet­ter than his friends’ chil­dren. He was very sup­port­ive of her. Once her lap­top was mal­func­tion­ing and in­stead of fix­ing it he bought her a new one. He was also very sup­port­ive of her ex­tra-cur­ric­u­lar ac­tiv­i­ties and would at­tend all her net­ball matches. He was very pro­tec­tive of her and she could not go out with­out his per­mis­sion. In fact, the one boy who he ap­proved of got our daugh­ter preg­nant. The boy is not in a po­si­tion to help her fi­nan­cially. She is our only child and I do not want her to leave our home. I want her to fin­ish school. I am now the go-be­tween be­cause they are not talk­ing to each other. She will not say she made a mis­take and he is not will­ing to look past the dis­ap­point­ment. Both claim I am on the side of the other. What am I to do?

A: You have your hands full. It is im­por­tant that you make ar­range­ments for your daugh­ter to com­plete her stud­ies and, hope­fully, she can pre­pare for her ex­am­i­na­tions dur­ing the preg­nancy. If the de­liv­ery is due dur­ing the time of the ex­am­i­na­tions, then en­sure she does the ex­ams after the de­liv­ery of the baby.

Your hus­band had built up his life and sense of es­teem around his daugh­ter. This is al­ways dan­ger­ous. He needs to recog­nise that she will do good things and will also make mis­takes. You need to ex­plain to him how you feel about the mat­ter and that you un­der­stand his dis­ap­point­ment. In ad­di­tion, share with him the fi­nan­cial bur­den on the fam­ily to find some­where else for your preg­nant daugh­ter to live. Fur­ther­more, please in­di­cate to him that your daugh­ter needs his emo­tional sup­port at this time. Per­haps he will come around after a while.

Your daugh­ter needs to recog­nise that her preg­nancy is ill­timed and no harm would be done in ad­mit­ting to her fa­ther that she made a mis­take, but that she is de­ter­mined to bounce back.

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