QDoctor, how often should a couple have sex? My wife and I cannot agree on that! I must tell you that we are both 47 years old, born on the same day!
We have been married for 19 years, and our 20th anniversary is coming up. We use to have a lot of sex when we were in our 20s, but I must admit that it is less often now. Still, by my estimate, we ‘do it’ around twice a week, and sometimes more.
Now my wife says that I am not giving her enough! She thinks that at our age we should be doing it more. She has it in her head that most couples in their 40s have sex around four times a week. I think that she read this in an American women’s magazine.
Doc, please tell me which one of us is right.
AThe first thing I must say is that you two must get this dispute sorted out as soon as possible. At the moment, it may just seem like a friendly disagreement, but in a year or two, it could easily develop into something more unpleasant, and the final result could even be divorce. So please, get this matter fixed as soon as you can.
Now, who is right? Well, the short answer is that you are. Despite what your spouse has read, most couples in their 40s do not have intercourse four times for the week. Some do, but most don’t.
Let’s look at the best available figures from the famous Dr Alfred Kinsey. Here is a table which shows how often husbands have sex at various times of life: