Trump re­ally win?!

Jamaica Gleaner - - KELLY’S WORLD - Daviot Kelly Staff Reporter Link me at daviot.kelly@glean­erjm.com

THERE ARE many things that peeve me (and I mean whole heap) – but I re­ally, re­ally don’t like to be wrong.

When I was a child and the teacher asked a ques­tion, I some­times shud­dered at putting up my hand for fear that I would get the an­swer wrong. Neva want no­body a laugh afta me! Over time, I’ve got a lit­tle bet­ter, but I still hate be­ing wrong.

When I make pre­dic­tions, I love it when they ac­tu­ally hap­pen. It makes me feel good and maybe, de­pen­dent on the topic I pre­dicted, I may even feel slightly ‘Nostrada mus­esque’. Some­times I am so cer­tain, I’m will­ing to bet money I don’t have.

So you will un­der­stand my cha­grin at the re­cent hap­pen­ings in the United States of Amer­ica. Some­body, any­body, tell me how di hell Don­ald ‘Chump’ win? I was cer­tain Hil­lary gone wid di ting, but at the very least, I knew that it all depends on how peo­ple came out to vote on the day. So while in this very space I said that Hil­lary mus’ just show dem di whip, ap­par­ently, the fin­ish­ing post did likkle fur­ther than mi did think. Or maybe Trump gi fi him horse some Vi­a­gra or some­thing, be­cause I swore his chances were as dead as a door knob.

WAS I DREAM­ING?

When I woke up last Wed­nes­day morn­ing, I swore I was dream­ing. How can a bona fide, le­git­i­mate, half-idiot be the next pres­i­dent of the US? A suh Amer­i­cans re­ally nuh want a woman pres­i­dent? A so dem tired a ca­reer politi­cians? A so dem still nuh like black peo­ple? OK, I might be push­ing it a bit with the last one. But con­sid­er­ing that some of Trump’s rhetoric felt like the racist, sex­ist and all other ‘ist’ type, I won­der just how far the US has ac­tu­ally come in over 200 and nuff years of democ­racy. With democ­racy like this, I know why peo­ple like dic­ta­tors.

But, like all the other times I’ve been wrong, I’m not too proud to ad­mit my er­ror. You have to give it to The Don­ald. Him win fair and square. I thought ‘Chump’ couldn’t play domi­noes, but him drop a de­cent back-to-back six-love pon Hil­lary, bwoy. All Barack sup­posed to feel even slightly fool-fool, be­cause di way him did a gwaan like di hype man fi Hil­lary sound sys­tem, mi know him did tink say she gone clear, too. But such is life. Yuh never know what the future re­ally holds. All di polls and ev­ery­one got this one wrong. Don An­der­son and Bill Johnson mus’ feel bet­ter.

So what does this mean for the US and the world? Well, I could give some pre­dic­tions, but some­how I don’t think that would be very wise un­der the cir­cum­stances. So I will adopt a wait-and-see at­ti­tude with this one. I leave with some­thing I saw on a meme – Ge­orge W. Bush is giv­ing a toast and say­ing, “Good luck, Amer­ica”. I have a feel­ing they may need it. But what do I know?

TRUMP

KELLY

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