The seven verbs of suc­cess­ful par­ent­ing

Jamaica Gleaner - - WELL - Trevor E.S. Smith CON­TRIB­U­TOR Trevor E. S. Smith is a be­hav­iour mod­i­fi­ca­tion coach with the Success with Peo­ple Academy, Ex­tended DISC/FinxS.

PAR­ENT­ING IS a chal­lenge. Yet it is one of the re­spon­si­bil­i­ties that pro­duces the great­est level of guilt when we mess up. Also, in­ef­fec­tive par­ent­ing has lon­glast­ing reper­cus­sions within the fam­ily and for the wider so­ci­ety.

To­day, I share seven verbs that are es­sen­tial for suc­cess­ful par­ent­ing.


Bring­ing some­one into the world is an im­por­tant event. This should not take place by chance. There are many ways to con­trol when you en­ter into par­ent­hood, in­clud­ing ab­sti­nence. Do not en­ter into par­ent­hood care­lessly or with­out thought. Also, do not un­der­es­ti­mate the power of sex­ual de­sire. Take steps to pre­vent un­planned preg­nan­cies.

An­other con­sid­er­a­tion is that bear­ing and rais­ing a child is a com­plex mat­ter that re­quires struc­tured prepa­ra­tion. Good par­ents are faced with more than 25 years of as­sum­ing pri­mary re­spon­si­bil­ity for the growth and de­vel­op­ment of their chil­dren. This is not an overnight thing!


Par­ents are re­quired to

pro­vide for their chil­dren. The fact that so many par­ents are fail­ing to live up to this re­spon­si­bil­ity is an in­di­ca­tion that enough thought and prepa­ra­tion are not be­ing put in be­fore en­ter­ing into par­ent­hood.

Pro­vi­sion for your chil­dren in­cludes more than food, shel­ter, and cloth­ing. You also need to pro­vide an en­vi­ron­ment in which they can bring their dreams and hopes to re­al­ity. Too much re­spon­si­bil­ity for car­ing for chil­dren is placed on grand­par­ents. We thank God that these stal­warts step in to take care of the re­spon­si­bil­i­ties that have been ne­glected by par­ents.


Your role as par­ent in­cludes mo­ti­vat­ing your chil­dren to be

the best that they can be. This in­cludes open­ing their eyes to ca­reer al­ter­na­tives and pro­vid­ing firm guid­ance to achieve their goals. Chil­dren do not al­ways have their pri­or­i­ties in the right or­der. Par­ents need to use their ex­pe­ri­ence and knowl­edge to guide their chil­dren on paths that lead to success. Con­duct re­search. Ask ques­tions. Be bet­ter in­formed.


An­other re­spon­si­bil­ity is pro­tect­ing your chil­dren. We are liv­ing in danger­ous times. Re­gret­tably, chil­dren are not ex­cluded from the risk of violence and abuse. Un­for­tu­nately, abuse is of­ten in­flicted by fam­ily mem­bers and per­sons who are placed in po­si­tions of trust. To­day’s par­ent needs to be vig­i­lant and open­minded. Be aware of where your chil­dren are and be care­ful about who has ac­cess to them.

It is also very im­por­tant that you make it easy for your chil­dren to share ev­ery­thing with you. They must feel com­fort­able telling you what is hap­pen­ing to them, what they did or did not do and lis­ten with an open-mind. Do not just dis­miss what they tell you – in­ves­ti­gate.

Pro­tec­tion goes be­yond violence and phys­i­cal abuse. You also have to pro­tect your child’s mind.

Pro­tect them from in­for­ma­tion and peo­ple who will cor­rupt their minds. Screen what they watch on tele­vi­sion, and take time to know their friends. Let your house be the place where the friends hang out.


Chil­dren need to be

dis­ci­plined. This dis­ci­pline is not to take out your anger on them. Tak­ing out vengeance for the bro­ken vase is not help­ful or healthy for the child’s de­vel­op­ment — that is abuse.

The ob­jec­tive is to lov­ingly point out their er­rors and to en­cour­age them to do the right thing in the future. Un­der­stand­ing and for­give­ness are es­sen­tial to car­ry­ing out this kind of dis­ci­pline.


Be proud of your chil­dren and

let them know it. Praise them fre­quently — espe­cially when they do the right things. Catch­ing your chil­dren do­ing the right thing in­stead of only cor­rect­ing them is a pow­er­ful way to get them to mod­ify their be­hav­iour.


Your chil­dren are like an

‘en­ter­prise’. Get in­volved in open­ing op­por­tu­ni­ties for them. Ex­pose them to peo­ple, work out strate­gies for them to suc­ceed in their cho­sen field and pro­mote them at ev­ery op­por­tu­nity.


Get hid­den in­sights into your par­ent­ing style with a laser-sharp anal­y­sis on the revo­lu­tion­ary FinxS Plat­form from Ex­tended DISC. Get a com­pan­ion Par­ent­ing Guide.

Email: info@sw­ to get on board.


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