Sick of my de­mand­ing, un­help­ful hus­band

Jamaica Gleaner - - SPORTS - Email: edi­tor@glean­erjm.com

Q: I have been mar­ried for 22 years. Dur­ing this pe­riod, we have both cheated on each other. We also had a busi­ness to­gether and it met up on some re­ally hard times. We tried our best, but it did not work out. My hus­band went away for two and a half years and he did not send back any money. The de­ci­sion for him to go was made by him alone, with no con­sul­ta­tion with me. He claimed that it did not work out. All this took place while I had to be do­ing odd de­mand­ing and wants me to sup­port him and his big dreams. I do not know what he is do­ing and, frankly, I do not care. All I care about is the one son we have to­gether. I do two jobs so that he can sur­vive and get an ed­u­ca­tion. I want him to fin­ish col­lege and start to work. How­ever, my hus­band and his sib­lings who spoil him think that I am un­grate­ful and I should be cater­ing to his needs. I want to move on. What should hap­pen now?

A: It seems that you are not in­ter­ested in a re­la­tion­ship with your hus­band. It seems as if the mar­riage is as good as over. You are not com­mu­ni­cat­ing with each other. Both of you are mak­ing in­de­pen­dent de­ci­sions. Fur­ther­more, your fi­nan­cial woes have cre­ated a wedge. You feel he is de­mand­ing and un­help­ful, and he and his sib­lings think you are un­grate­ful. I won­der, how is this af­fect­ing your son? You need to talk with him also.

You are liv­ing apart and so you will have to use tech­nol­ogy to get some fam­ily coun­selling. It seems, how­ever, that you have al­ready moved on and your fo­cus is on the child.

You have both been un­faith­ful to each other and per­haps the pas­sion has gone out of the mar­riage. You have to search in your heart to see if there is any­thing that you re­ally want from this mar­riage af­ter 22 years. You have to de­cide whether the good times out­weigh the bad times. Even if you are go­ing to end the mar­riage, both of you need to end it am­i­ca­bly. Both of you need coun­selling.

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