Woman claims she’s 6 days preg­nant

The Star (Jamaica) - - FRONT PAGE -

What’s up, my peeps? Thanks for con­tin­u­ing to tune in to Fass & Cu­ri­ous be­cause yuh done know your girl Gos­sipchica got yuh on lock. Big up to all the peeps who emailed. Your com­ments are al­ways wel­comed!

So fi di long­est while I haven’t laughed this hard ‘cause I never hear of this one yet. Ques­tion: Can some­one know for sure the next day that she is preg­nant af­ter one night? Is it a new thing that I don’t know about? No, unuh don’t laugh. You know how they al­ways com­ing up with some new crap like lace eye­lash, ready-made sew-in weave, fake vagina and bum, and so on and so forth? Me a one of the last smaddy to al­ways know about these things, so me hon­estly a ask unuh!

The other day me fass inna smaddy con­ver­sa­tion a ‘Pan­ish Town’, and as I lis­tened, my belly bot­tom lit­er­ally hurt me be­cause at the time, I wanted to laugh so hard, but be­cause no one was talk­ing to me and the place did hot, I never want to get in any trou­ble. This woman was telling her friend how a man she talk­ing to a tell her about a girl he had a fling with and this is what hap­pened.

She said the man called her and said, “Babes, me can talk to yuh bout supm?”

“Yeah man, yuh know yuh can tell me any­thing!” she replied.

He con­tin­ued, “Yuh know say the other day when I tell yuh not to come here is be­cause wah idiat gal did fi come here. She tek me fi fool, so me did have to in­vite her back a me yard fi a last time. Hear dis: me carry har home, zeen, and we gwan wid a ting. Inna di morn­ing, me in the kitchen a mek break­fast. She run go in the bath­room and a gwan like she a vomit. When me go in dere and ask har what hap­pen to har, she say she preg­nant. Inna my head me a say, ‘Watch dis idiat. She nuh know say me use con­dom.’ Me nuh say nut­ten enuh, babes, me just go with har flow. She say she want to go doc­tor and me must give her money. Any­ways, she claim she never go same time, so af­ter she go, she call me say doc­tor said she six days preg­nant!!!”

GAVE HER THE PRESENT

As the woman spoke, she started laugh­ing. She con­tin­ued quot­ing the man.

“Me say babes, what a woman wicked! Me go in the trash can and take out di con­dom and full it a wa­ter and wrap it up say when she come me ago show har. Fur­ther­more, smaddy cya preg­nant af­ter one night! KMT! When she come, I carry har in the bath­room and give her the present and just start done har. Me tell her come outa me house and nuh call back me phone!”

The woman re­lat­ing the in­ci­dent was out of breath as she laughed and tried to sound like the man. She con­tin­ued to tell her friend how she trou­ble the man about his “baby­mother” at times just to get him mad.

Walk good yah! Star­gos­sichica@gmail.com

Newspapers in English

Newspapers from Jamaica

© PressReader. All rights reserved.