My chil­dren don’t like my new lover

The Star (Jamaica) - - Front Page -

Dear Pas­tor,

I am liv­ing with a woman. She is 50 and I am 45. She was a friend of my wife’s, but my wife be­came ill and died. This woman con­tin­ued to come to the house af­ter the fu­neral.

She did ev­ery­thing for me, such as the cook­ing, the wash­ing, and the clean­ing of the house, un­til we started to sleep to­gether.

I have two chil­dren, and they warned me about this woman. My daugh­ter, who was at uni­ver­sity at the time, told me she was not pleased be­cause soon af­ter her mother’s death, I was in another re­la­tion­ship, and her mother’s body was not even cold as yet.

I had to apol­o­gise to my daugh­ter and tell her that it was not my in­ten­tion to get in­volved with another woman so fast, but be­cause I was alone, this woman used the op­por­tu­nity to have her way with me.

I am go­ing to tell you the truth, sir. I did not tell my daugh­ter what I am telling you, but it only took five weeks af­ter the death of my wife for this woman to get me to go to bed with her.

She would put on these short night­ies, and ev­ery­thing was see-through. The first night when I saw her dressed like that, I turned my back and she rolled me over.

I could not re­sist her. That was the be­gin­ning of my sor­rows. When my chil­dren are here with me, she be­haves as if she is in to­tal con­trol of me and of their mother’s house. That is one rea­son why they do not like her.

My two chil­dren were here last De­cem­ber, and they told me they did not want her to be sleep­ing here while they are there. My son is a chef abroad, and he did the cook­ing and the bak­ing. This woman was very up­set with me.

My chil­dren told me that I could have her come for Christ­mas din­ner, but she re­fused. I will not lie,

Pas­tor. I love her, and I can’t make her turn against me be­cause of my chil­dren. She is the one who is tak­ing care of all my needs.

She has her own place, but my chil­dren be­lieve that she is af­ter my house. She can’t get this house be­cause I told her it is for my chil­dren.

I want to be in good graces with my chil­dren, and at the same time, I can’t al­low my chil­dren to fight down this woman be­cause she is ev­ery­thing to me. Kindly give me your ad­vice.

M.H.

Dear M.H.

This woman was your wife’s close friend, and when your wife died, she did ev­ery­thing to help you. She also saw you as a mighty good catch. You be­came a wid­ower. Your chil­dren were get­ting their ed­u­ca­tion so they could not do much for you.

They prob­a­bly thought that this woman would just be your helper who would clean, wash, and cook. The woman did all these things without com­plain­ing, but she wanted a man, and there you were.

No­body was in her way, so she moved in on you. Were you sleep­ing? Per­haps you were. But she knew ex­actly what she was do­ing. Even her lin­gerie – she had spe­cial ones to wear for you. I know your chil­dren were up­set with you, but they can­not re­main up­set forever. You are not an old man, and this woman is just five years older than you. She is vi­brant and very sexy.

If you love her, your chil­dren will have to un­der­stand that al­though you did not plan for it to be so, it has hap­pened. She has proven to be a mighty good com­pan­ion for you.

So as I see it, they are go­ing to have to ac­cept her. You have men­tioned in your let­ter that you love her, and I am sure she has told you a mil­lion times that she loves you, and you are the best thing to have hap­pened to her since slice bread.

If you want to go fur­ther in this re­la­tion­ship, use com­mon sense and deal with your chil­dren. I am sure they will come around.

Please, both of you should un­dergo some pre­mar­i­tal coun­selling, and get ad­vice from a lawyer be­fore you make any fur­ther com­mit­ment to this woman.

Pas­tor.

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