Long live Thabo Thakalekoala

Lesotho Times - - Scrutator -

SCRU­TA­TOR is deeply dis­turbed by re­ports that some scum­bags zoom­ing around in a di­lap­i­dated Toy­ota camry tried to kill our ven­er­a­ble prime min­is­te­rial spokesman Thabo Thakalekoala.

As I read Thakalekoala’s narration of his as­sas­si­na­tion at­tempt or­deal last week, my mind ran sprints.

I could not help but imag­ine how bor­ing our po­lit­i­cal life could be­come with­out the metic­u­lous ser­vice of our im­mensely hand­some prime min­is­ter’s spokesman.

Thakalekoala is not only among the most good look­ing guys in town, he has an in­fec­tious sense of hu­mour, dis­arm­ing charm and when he is in a good mood, he is a jolly good fel­low to be around.

Ihave had the huge hon­our of at­tend­ing Prime Min­is­ter Tom Tha­bane’s press con­fer­ences con­vened by Thakalekoala. They are not your or­di­nary press con­fer­ences. They re­sem­ble po­lit­i­cal ral­lies.

Thakalekoala al­ways be­gins them with a long in­tro­duc­tion and ren­di­tion of how and why Tha­bane has asked him to con­vene the pressers.

on a few oc­ca­sions, he speaks more at the pressers than the PM him­self. Through Thakalekoala, I have learnt the ben­e­fits of ap­point­ing a loyal cadre to speak for you, if you are any­one who de­serves to ap­point a spokesman.

should I ever be­come prime min­is­ter one day, which I am sure I will once I swap my pen for pol­i­tics, I will cer­tainly re­call Thakalekoala to of­fice (that is if the scum bags who made an at­tempt on his life don’t try it again and he re­mains around).

He is the ar­che­typal ac­tivist spokesman that any Prime Min­is­ter or Pres­i­dent in trou­ble de­serves.

Thakalekoala tells it like it is. some­times he con­fuses his role as a civil ser­vant to his other as a politi­cian. But there is no prob­lem with that, par­tic­u­larly in our highly politi­cizsed civil ser­vice.

Wit­ness the highly charged ep­i­thets and venom Thakalekoala reg­u­larly dis­patches against for­mer Prime Min­is­ter, Mr size Two.

Those with good mem­o­ries will know that Phakalita Mo­sisili once jailed Thakalekoala after he de­scribed the for­mer premier as a for­eigner who should never have ruled in Le­sotho for the pro­longed pe­riod Mr size Two was in charge.

now Thakalekoala is hav­ing his re­venge.

even though I think he some­times goes over the top in his di­a­tribes against Mr size Two, it all proves the im­por­tance of ev­ery politi­cian hav­ing a loyal cadre speak­ing for them.

A for­mer jour­nal­ist and ra­dio an­nouncer, Thakalekoala can also be lo­qua­cious and vulgar in his de­liv­er­ies.

That makes him a very in­ter­est­ing fig­ure who must stick around to en­lighten our dour po­lit­i­cal land­scape.

If ever there is an ap­point­ment that Tha­bane ap­plied his mind to be­fore mak­ing, it must be that of Thakalekoala. not only does the PM and his spokesman com­ple­ment each other in the hand­some stakes, Thakalekoala serves his boss whole­heart­edly against all his en­e­mies.

could there be a pos­si­bil­ity that those who wanted to harm Thakalekoala could in fact have con­fused him with the PM, partly be­cause of their sim­i­lar good looks?

We all know the PM is most vul­ner­a­ble and dag­gers re­main drawn against him. We will only know the full truth when po­lice in­ves­ti­ga­tions have been com­pleted and the scum bags have been ap­pre­hended.

My mes­sage to them is sim­ple: Leave our prime min­is­te­rial press sec­re­tary alone.

We love him and like him, not only for his acer­bic per­for­mances but also be­cause he is in­deed a good man.

If FHM mag­a­zine had not closed, Thakalekoala would cer­tainly have been a prime can­di­date to ar­don one of its cov­ers. For the ig­no­rant among us, FHM is that glossy mag­a­zine which made its name from splash­ing pretty faces of beau­ti­ful men and women on its cov­ers.

Amer­i­can politi­cians, who more than any oth­ers need good spokes­men be­cause of the rig­or­ous na­ture of their coun­try’s pol­i­tics, are not do­ing them­selves any favours by not sec­ond­ing their spokes­men to Thakalekoala for some train­ing.

Long Live Thakalekoala and damn all the beasts seek­ing a pre­ma­ture end to your vi­brant and in­ter­est­ing life.

Scru­ta­tor has re­peat­edly em­pha­sized that the planned Fe­bru­ary 2015 elec­tions are the only way to get us out of our cur­rent po­lit­i­cal predica­ment and to put a per­ma­nent end to our Loo- ney Tunes coali­tion gov­ern­ment.

This is why I am dis­turbed by in­for­ma­tion that even though the dis­so­lu­tion of Par­lia­ment will go ahead, some scoundrel politi­cians are de­ter­mined to sab­o­tage the Fe­bru­ary 2015 elec­tions.

This is be­cause th­ese politi­cians, who are MPs and se­na­tors, had ac­cessed the M500 000 loans ex­tended to legislators as part of their ben­e­fits struc­ture.

Ap­par­ently th­ese politi­cians want the gov­ern­ment to write-off th­ese loans ar­gu­ing the Fe­bru­ary 2015 elec­tion will cut their terms and if they lose their seats, like many will cer­tainly do, they will no longer have ac­cess to salaries to ser­vice the in­ter­est free loans.

This all con­firms what I have said be­fore that most Ba­sotho see pol­i­tics as the best ca­reer from which to make a de­cent liv­ing, hence the pro­lif­er­a­tion of all the aunt and nephew po­lit­i­cal par­ties or hus­band, wife and il­le­git­i­mate child po­lit­i­cal par­ties that we have. I am in­formed that when­ever a new Par­lia­ment is elected, the first or­der of business for many MPs is to sub­mit ap­pli­ca­tions for th­ese loans.

Their ar­gu­ment that their abil­ity to ser­vice the loans is di­min­ished by the cut­ting of the five year life of Par­lia­ment is nev­er­the­less as inane as it is stupid.

What a huge pity that th­ese MPs don’t see it.

Un­less the gov­ern­ment makes a firm decision to write-off th­ese loans, th­ese MPs would rather have the Fe­bru­ary elec­tions not go- ing ahead and seek a restora­tion of their sta­tus as MPs.

They ob­vi­ously don’t care that the con­tin­u­a­tion of the Tom and Jerry coali­tion beyond Fe­bru­ary 2015 will be tragic for this coun­try.

some of the MPs have also been as use­less scum bags as those who wanted to harm our beloved Thakalekoala.

They never showed up in their con­stituen­cies hence their fear to lose in the elec­tion.

That can­not ab­solve them from pay­ing the money from hard pressed Ba­sotho tax­pay­ers.

When you bor­row money from a bank, you must re­pay it re­gard­less of whether you lose your job or not.

If ever a decision is made to write-off th­ese loans for th­ese er­rant MPs, we must all protest un­til the fires of hell be­come ice and then we dance on that ice.

Those fol­low­ing the news will be aware of a new po­lit­i­cal phe­nom­e­non tak­ing root in South­ern Africa; that of first ladies seek­ing to re­place their hus­bands as pres­i­dents or prime min­is­ters.

It started in Zim­babwe with that paragon of aca­demic ex­cel­lence, Grace Mu­gabe, pub­licly an­nounc­ing that she wants to re­place her hus­band.

Ap­par­ently, Grace es­tab­lished in­ter­na­tional no­to­ri­ety for pro­duc­ing ex­cep­tion­ally poor marks at all the rep­utable univer­si­ties she at­tempted to ob­tain a de­gree from.

The Univer­sity of London in fact ex­pelled her to safe­guard its rep­u­ta­tion. But mys­te­ri­ously, the Univer­sity of Zim­babwe saw it fit to af­ford her a doc­tor­ate in or­phan­ages after only eight weeks of study.

Buoyed by this qual­i­fi­ca­tion, she im­me­di­ately an­nounced her can­di­dacy to re­place her soon to be 91year old hus­band.

Not to be out­done, chris­tine Kaseba-sata, the widow of late Zam­bian pres­i­dent Michael sata, is now also vy­ing to re­place her hus­band and is fight­ing tooth, nail and claw to be­come the Pa­tri­otic Front’s can­di­date in elec­tions due end of Jan­uary 2015.

The Zam­bians are civilised enough to call for fresh elec­tions within three months of the death of an in­cum­bent Pres­i­dent.

This al­ways en­sures that who­ever is pres­i­dent has a di­rect man­date from the peo­ple. Un­for­tu­nately, the Zam­bians al­ways elect old yes­ter­year politi­cians.

This is the sec­ond time they are go­ing for elec­tions to re­place a dead pres­i­dent. But that’s be­sides the point. The news is that chris­tine thinks she is the per­fect re­place­ment for her hus­band.

“Be­cause we shared a bed ev­ery day. I ex­actly know what he al­ways thought and how he al­ways thought. I am thus the best can­di­date to carry for­ward his legacy and save the Pa­tri­otic Front,” thun­dered chris­tine in a me­dia in­ter­view last week.

Across the bor­der in south Africa, there is un­sub­stan­ti­ated in­for­ma­tion that Makhu­malo, the 73-year old first wife of Ja­cob Zuma is con­sid­er­ing seek­ing high of­fice as well.

I must con­fess my love for MaKhu­malo. she is the most de­cent in Zuma’s kraal of dozens of wives and con­cu­bines.

even though the source of her sud­denly found wish to re­place her phi­lan­der­ing, danc­ing and singing hus­band is some­what con­tro­ver­sial –– the blab­ber­mouth Loy­iso Gola.

There is no rea­son to dis­count it since it is the fash­ion­able thing among the wives and girl­friends of re­gional lead­ers th­ese days.

The only re­gional coun­try in which there is no chance at all of a first lady re­plac­ing her hus­band is, of course, Botswana. That is be­cause there is no First Lady there.

scru­ta­tor shall not re­gur­gi­tate ru­mours about Ian seretse Khama’s sex­ual ori­en­ta­tion, lest I open a pan­dora’s box.

What is clear nev­er­the­less is that there seem to be a well-or­ches­trated plan by re­gional first ladies to take over from their hus­bands.

so my quick ques­tion is; Where does mama Li­a­biloe Ramo­holi fit in all this?

Has she had a word with her fel­low first ladies in the re­gion? If so, shall we ex­pect an an­nounce­ment soon.

ntante Tha­bane is 75. still far much younger than Mu­gabe and full of en­ergy.

But sooner or later, he will need a re­place­ment at the apex of both Le­sotho and the ABc. If you haven’t given it much thought, all I can say is go for it Li­a­biloe? It will be in­ter­est­ing to have a first fe­male Prime Min­is­ter twid­dling her fin­gers in state House.

Ache!!!!

PM’S spokesman Thabo Thakalekoala

CHRIS­TINE Kaseba-sata

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