Thakalekoala loses the plot

Lesotho Times - - Scrutator -

WHY Thomas Mot­soa­hae Tha­bane (the in­de­fati­ga­ble Cy­clone Tom) ever thought of ap­point­ing one Thabo Thakalekoala as his of­fi­cial spokesman shall for­ever re­main one of the big­gest mys­ter­ies of mod­ern pol­i­tics and one of his­tory’s ma­jor as­ton­ish­ments. I am of course re­fer­ring to the pe­riod that Cy­clone Tom still had the whole world in his palms and was prime min­is­ter. As premier, he needed a bright ca­pa­ble co­hort to speak on his be­half. And, be­cause of the aus­pi­cious­ness of that po­si­tion, ev­ery pres­i­dent or prime min­is­ter goes out of their way to ap­point the most ap­pro­pri­ate per­son.

When you speak for a Pres­i­dent or Prime Min­is­ter, you are as good as the leader you are speak­ing for. A good leader will thus choose a per­son who mir­rors the leader’s own im­age.

Per­haps this is the only rea­son why the im­mensely hand­some Ntate Tha­bane ever thought of ap­point­ing Thakalekoala. Cy­clone Tom just wanted a man as pretty as him to be his spokesper­son. I can­not fathom any other rea­son.

A prime min­is­ter or pres­i­dent’s spokesper­son must be ar­tic­u­late and highly knowl­edge­able, ready to tackle any ques­tions put be­fore them by the ever pry­ing hacks (jour­nal­ists). Thakalekoala does not pos­sess any of th­ese at­tributes. Good looks are also an in­dis­pens­able re­quire­ment for a pres­i­den­tial or prime min­is­ter’s spokesman. Just con­sider the spokes­men for Barack Obama and David Cameroon in the US and UK re­spec­tively.

I know of no in­stance in which a man or woman with­out an en­tire set of teeth has ever been ap­pointed to be­come spokesper­son of a pres­i­dent or prime min­is­ter any­where in the world.

Pres­i­dents and prime min­is­ters of­ten pick their spokesper­sons from peo­ple with re­mark­able records in the jour­nal­ism or com­mu­ni­ca­tions field. Per­haps this could be an­other rea­son why upon as­sum­ing the reigns of of­fice, Ntate Tha­bane turned to Thakalekoala. Ex­cept that Thakalekoala’s reign in the Le­sotho me­dia was as in­con­spic­u­ous as it was un­re­mark­able.

Be­fore his flir­ta­tions at Har­vest FM, where he used his pro­gramme to ad­ver­tise him­self as a po­ten­tial politi­cian than en­gag­ing in se­ri­ous jour­nal­ism, Thakalekoala had been editor of an in­nocu­ous pub­li­ca­tion that slith­ered into the streets once or twice a quar­ter or when­ever its pro­pri­etors had sold a few chick­ens and got money to print. So why could Ntate Tha­bane ever have ap­pointed him as spokesman then?

The only rea­son I can fathom is that the im­mensely hand­some Ntate Tha­bane looked for some­one who could mir­ror his own hand­some­ness. But as a spokesman, Thakalekoala was a big disas­ter. Shoot­ing from the hip was his modus operandi and he of­ten is­sued state­ments that con­flicted with his boss.

I was thus not sur­prised when Cy­clone Tom even­tu­ally de­cided to dis­own his hand­some spokesman. This af­ter Thakalekoala con­vened an un­sanc­tioned press con­fer­ence at which he lied that Deputy Prime Min­is­ter Mo­thetjoa Mets­ing was on a mis­sion to seek ad­vance amnesty from re­gional lead­ers just in case the re­cently con­cluded SADC com­mis­sion of in­quiry im­pli­cated him in the mur­der of Maa­parankoe Ma­hao.

So em­bar­rass­ing was this fic­tion that Cy­clone Tom is­sued a vi­cious state­ment against his once trusted ally. “I hear peo­ple say­ing Thabo is my spokesper­son and think that he speaks on my be­half on ev­ery­thing. But let me set the record straight here and now: Thabo is not my spokesper­son,” Cy­clone Tom fumed.

BNP leader Th­e­sele ‘ Maserib­ane and the RCL’S aun­tie Keketso Ran­tšo also had some choice words for Thakalekoala af­ter he claimed to have been rep­re­sent­ing them as well.

Since Thakalekoala has an en­tire set of teeth miss­ing, Scru­ta­tor won’t ac­cuse him of ly­ing through his teeth. One does not need to be a fan of Mets­ing to see through Thakalekoala’s fab­ri­ca­tions.

While Thakalekoala has ev­ery rea­son to hate Mets­ing, I can­not un­der­stand why he would go out of his way to make such silly and child­ish ac­cu­sa­tions against the DPM.

When­ever I am down and out as I was this week, I al­ways look for news from Zim­babwe for some comic re­lief since that whole coun­try is an en­tire joke.

Some of you will re­mem­ber that Zim­babwe is the only coun­try in the world that holds a Mr Ugly con­test. The com­pe­ti­tion was fought over last week. But the Mr Ugly con­test turned ugly last Fri­day when the run­ner-up ac­cused judges of bias.

Mai­son Sere was crowned the ugli­est of them all at this year’s con­test, beat­ing out 35 other com­peti­tors as he flashed his tooth­less grin and pulled grotesque fa­cial ex­pres­sions.

Sere took the ti­tle from Wil­liam Masv­inu, the reign­ing Mr Ugly champ since 2012. Masv­inu and his fans went into an up­roar and dis­puted the judges’ rul­ing say­ing Sere was too “hand­some” be­cause he played up on his miss­ing teeth.

Some politi­cians who were en­raged by Thakalekoala’s press con­fer­ence said he would have bet­ter spent his time con­test­ing in Zim­babwe’s Mr Ugly com­pe­ti­tion than waste time on a use­less press con­fer­ence say­ing a lot of gib­ber­ish dis­owned by his lead­ers.

I dis­agree with that point of view though. They say beauty is in the eyes of the be­holder. Scru­ta­tor thinks that de­spite be­ing an aw­ful spokesper­son of any­one, Thakalekoala is im­mensely hand­some man.

Please study the above pic­tures of Thakalekoala and Sere and make your own judg­ment. Even though one set of his teeth is miss­ing, Thakalekoala will prob­a­bly be ad­judged to be too hand­some to snatch Sere’s ti­tle. But if the judges in­deed rig the elec­tion and Thakalekoala wins, he will earn good money to spend in ex­ile.

Ache!!!!

Mai­son sere.

Thabo Thakalekoala.

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