Do The Math
The perils of dating someone older or younger.
AGE MAY BE JUST A NUMBER BUT SOMETIMES IT DOES MATTER, ESPECIALLY IN THE GAME OF LOVE.
Most times, age difference in a relationship makes no difference but there are moments when it can play a big role in how well the relationship works. So if you are dating someone who is considerably older or younger, here are a few things you need to put some thought into because these will determine if your relationship will stand the test of time.
YOUR CURRENT AGE
And by current we mean today. Time affects relationship in phases and what may have seemed alright a year ago might not be tolerable now and vice versa. If both of you are in your teens or early 20s, a few years in between can impact the relationship negatively. However, if you’re in your 30s or 40s, the age factor doesn’t seem to bother you all that much anymore. But studies show that age insecurities resurface when youyou’rere in your 50s and 60s.
IT’S A TEEN LIFE
Dating someone older when you’re in your teens is pretty much not worth the time and effort. Most times you’re wasting your youth pretending to be mature. Not having the chance to be yourself will take a toll on the relationship because like everything else, your pretense will exhaust itself. This is when your relationship will start to crumble. As for the older one in the relationship, the younger partner may seem like quite the catch but only for so long.
This is your biggest hurdle when dating someone younger or older. A younger partner is always more enthusiastic, impatient and restless. Someone older, on the other hand hand, is calmer. It all then depends on what you’re looking for. And if there is an intolerance or lack of understanding ababout each others’ emotional needs and expectations, expect a wedge is formed and your relationship has the life span of a loaf of bread.
You have the Rolling Stones on your iPod while your partner knows all the words to “Call Me Maybe”. You prefer to sleep in, especially on weekends, but your older partner is all about waking up early so the day doesn’t go to waste.
And trust us, someone born in a different decade – whether it is earlier or later than you – will at times have no clue what you’re talking about. Which can be tiresome eventually, and annoying at the end of the day.
PLAY UP THAT INSECURITY
Age is probably one of man’s biggest hang-ups. And in a relationship, the older person will feel it even more, especially when they see their younger counterpart bonding with someone their age. Did they connect better emotionally because they have the same interests and are able to communicate better? Meanwhile, a younger lover may feel threatened by people who are closer to their older partner’s age who can relate better to their job and life concerns.
When dating someone older, there may be issues like divorces, ex-wives, kids and debt. Like it or not, you’ll be part of these excess baggage. You may not think much of it in the first place but there comes a time when the baggage can get unbearable (think spending nights in with a kid when you’re itching to go out or having to deal with a jealous ex-wife). Ready to deal with it?
DIFFERENT LIFE GOALS
Do you and your partner want the same things? Does one of you want little tykes running around while the other has no intention of reproducing in the future? How about a home? Does one of you want to settle down with a shared mortgage while the other wants to live out of hotels and suitcases at a moment’s notice? The details may seem irrelevant now but when the time comes, you’ll have to deal with them as a couple. And if you both want different things? ‘Nuf said.
GROWING OLD TOGETHER
When you’re 30 and your partner is 45 it may not seem like a big deal. But what about when you’re 45 and your partner is 60? Can you handle ageing at different levels? There is the matter of dissimilar energy levels, different points in your careers, ability to carry out certain tasks or activities, or even travel. If you have kids together, is either one of you prepared to take care of them by yourself just in case your partner isn’t quite able to?
YOUR DAD IS HOT!
Remember that time when you went to a restaurant and bumped into an acquaintance who later texted to comment how hot your dad is? Problem with that? You were actually with your older boyfriend! Hate how that happens regularly? Don’t like the comments that family and friends make of your MayDecember relationship? If dating someone outside your age group bothers you, then don’t do it. Because, at the end of it, you have to be comfortable with each other. If comments from others bother you, then maybe this isn’t for you.