WHY THE LONG FACE?
BARTENDERS SERVE YOU DRINKS THAT MAKE YOU HAPPY. BUT WHEN THAT DOESN’T WORK, HERE ARE THE BEST JOKES THEY USE AS BACKUP!
1. A pirate walks into a bar with a captain’s wheel crammed down the front of his pants. The bartender says, “Why have you got a captain’s wheel crammed down the front of your pants?’ And the pirate says, “Arrgh! It’s driving me nuts!” 2. A cowboy runs into a bar and says to the bartender, “Give me 20 shots of your best scotch, quick!” The bartender pours out the shots, and the cowboy drinks them as fast as he can. The bartender says, “Wow. I never saw anybody drink that fast.” The cowboy replies, “Well, you'd drink that fast too if you had what I have.” The bartender says, “Oh my God! What is it? What do you have?” “Fifty cents!” 3. What do blondes and beer bottles have in common? They’re both empty from the neck up. 4. A grasshopper walks into a bar and the bartender says, “Hey, we have a drink named after you!” The grasshopper looks surprised and says, “You have a drink named Steve?” 5. Two men drink in a bar. One man says, “Did you know that beer contains female hormones?” The other man says, “No. Is that true?” “Yes,” says the first man. “If you drink too much, you start talking crap and drive terribly.”