Stuff You Can Only Ask
No question is too embarrassing for our experts … so fire away!
QI just started dating a guy and my co-workers have been very supportive, eager to hear about the latest text exchange, and generous with advice about it. They all gather around my desk and we analyse every detail. Is it unhealthy for women to behave this way? A Your new man may probably feel a little violated by this behaviour. He believes that your communication is private. It’s lovely to be swept up by a new romance but to share the correspondence with your colleagues seems to be close to crossing the line. If he ever found out, he’d be entitled to feel angry. And to answer your question, no, this is something guys don’t do. Even with their closest friends, let alone those we work with. David
Q My boyfriend of two years and I were watching a movie where the couple were desperate to have a baby. I’m watching thinking, “I can’t relate to this”, when my boyfriend turns to me and says, “I get where they’re coming from, don’t you?” I don’t want kids. Should I fess up or leave it alone? A Now. Right now. I’m not saying this is a relationship deal-breaker but you need to be aware that it could be. After two years, many men understandably start thinking about the future. It seems for your partner, this includes kids. You need to clarify whether he was just swept up in the narrative of the film or if he genuinely wants to move to that stage in his life. This will be a tough discussion but after two years together, you owe him that truth so he can decide what he wants going forward. David
Q My dad just passed away. My ex was really close to him and he wants to come to the memorial. I want my new partner there but it could get awkward. How do I handle this situation? A As considerate as it is of you to take others’ feelings into account in this situation, the only feelings that matter here are your own. You are dealing with an enormous loss and sense of grief. Your ex wants to be there to pay his respects to you and the rest of your family. Your partner should be man enough to deal with this. David
Q My partner seems to always want sex but I would prefer if we spent time cuddling. How can I tell him this? A Cuddling not only provides sensual pleasure but also a feeling of comfort, security and companionship that can strengthen the relationship. Don’t be afraid to ask or discuss your needs with him. Sometimes actions like simple hugs may be a better way to communicate that you want to cuddle. If your partner just focuses only on sex or refuses to cuddle, they might feel uncomfortable with physical aection or are possibly having emotional issues. Non-sexual intimacy often gives you time to talk and find out more about each others’ feelings and emotions. Dr. Edward