Men Can’t Tell The Dif­fer­ence Be­tween Sexy and Slutty

And why no mat­ter how hard we try, it still looks the same.


This piece needs to start with an apol­ogy. From the men out there who’ve leered, stared, and ogled in your pres­ence; but only be­cause it’s like the most pow­er­ful mag­netic force. When a woman en­ters a room in an out­fit that re­veals just too much, men have to look. Shame­fully, it makes no dif­fer­ence whether we are with our part­ners or girl­friends or not. Yet no mat­ter how sur­rep­ti­tious or sneaky we think we are, she al­ways catches us in the act. Aside from the te­dious boner-driven pre­dictabil­ity of this dy­namic, what ran­kles many women is that we ac­tu­ally find these women in their bot­tom-ex­pos­ing denim shorts sexy.

Women, on the other hand, write these skimpily at­tired at­ten­tion seek­ers off as over­ex­posed, which is a nice way of say­ing slutty. It’s an aw­ful, de­mean­ing word that re­duces women to sex­ual ob­jects but that doesn’t make it any less preva­lent. The rea­son men won’t con­demn these cleav­age-friendly, thigh-skim­ming, midriff-re­veal­ing en­sem­bles is that we are vis­ual crea­tures. We sim­ply do not have the in­built fe­male radar that can im­me­di­ately tell the dif­fer­ence be­tween skank and vamp.

Bear this in mind: most men are in­tim­i­dated by the vamp in the thigh-high boots and hot pants, so much so that we wouldn’t dare ap­proach her. The bor­der be­tween slutty and sexy – at least in the eyes of men – is a murky one at best. Most prob­a­bly for the fact that you can be a lit­tle of both and that would be just fine with us. It comes down to how each in­di­vid­ual woman em­braces her sex­u­al­ity with the key dif­fer­ence be­tween slutty and sexy be­ing pred­i­cated on the de­gree which she owns it. If you are com­fort­able in that low-neck top or mini skirt and you wear them – not the other way around – most men will find you sexy with­out the other s-word com­ing into play. It’s all about at­ti­tude and con­fi­dence.

In other words, when it’s the bla­tant at­ten­tion grab that other women can spot from a mile away, the ef­fect is no less di­min­ished for sur­round­ing men. This is not a proud thing to ad­mit but please re­mem­ber that this story started with an apol­ogy and will end the same way.

Shame­fully, it makes no dif­fer­ence whether we are with our part­ners or girl­friends or not.

Newspapers in English

Newspapers from Malaysia

© PressReader. All rights reserved.