Men Can’t Tell The Difference Between Sexy and Slutty
And why no matter how hard we try, it still looks the same.
This piece needs to start with an apology. From the men out there who’ve leered, stared, and ogled in your presence; but only because it’s like the most powerful magnetic force. When a woman enters a room in an outfit that reveals just too much, men have to look. Shamefully, it makes no difference whether we are with our partners or girlfriends or not. Yet no matter how surreptitious or sneaky we think we are, she always catches us in the act. Aside from the tedious boner-driven predictability of this dynamic, what rankles many women is that we actually find these women in their bottom-exposing denim shorts sexy.
Women, on the other hand, write these skimpily attired attention seekers off as overexposed, which is a nice way of saying slutty. It’s an awful, demeaning word that reduces women to sexual objects but that doesn’t make it any less prevalent. The reason men won’t condemn these cleavage-friendly, thigh-skimming, midriff-revealing ensembles is that we are visual creatures. We simply do not have the inbuilt female radar that can immediately tell the difference between skank and vamp.
Bear this in mind: most men are intimidated by the vamp in the thigh-high boots and hot pants, so much so that we wouldn’t dare approach her. The border between slutty and sexy – at least in the eyes of men – is a murky one at best. Most probably for the fact that you can be a little of both and that would be just fine with us. It comes down to how each individual woman embraces her sexuality with the key difference between slutty and sexy being predicated on the degree which she owns it. If you are comfortable in that low-neck top or mini skirt and you wear them – not the other way around – most men will find you sexy without the other s-word coming into play. It’s all about attitude and confidence.
In other words, when it’s the blatant attention grab that other women can spot from a mile away, the effect is no less diminished for surrounding men. This is not a proud thing to admit but please remember that this story started with an apology and will end the same way.
Shamefully, it makes no difference whether we are with our partners or girlfriends or not.