Stuff You Can Only Ask

No ques­tion is too em­bar­rass­ing for our ex­pert … so fire away!

CLEO (Malaysia) - - BODY & SOUL -

Q My sis­ter’s fi­ancé is pos­si­bly the most per­fect guy on Earth. He’s smart, funny, and treats her like a queen. I think I might be in love with him. What’s wrong with me?

A You need to back away! This may all stem from jeal­ousy or com­pet­i­tive­ness is­sues with your sib­ling but ei­ther way, he’s her man. Any­way, you are prob­a­bly get­ting a se­ri­ously ide­alised im­age of him. Your sis­ter is not go­ing to tell you the bad things, is she? No man is per­fect and your sis­ter prob­a­bly knows this bet­ter than you do. David Q I’ve no­ticed my boyfriend flirt­ing with my room­mate. How do I tell him that I don’t like what he’s do­ing with­out it turn­ing into a fight? A He prob­a­bly has no idea how his be­hav­iour is im­pact­ing you so you have to let him know. Also, you need to make the dis­cus­sion about your feel­ings rather than his ac­tions. By giv­ing him a spe­cific ex­am­ple and the pre­vi­ously men­tioned ben­e­fit of the doubt – as in “I know you’re not do­ing this on pur­pose but when you do X with Y, it makes me feel Z.” This should pre­vent things from blow­ing up. That said, don’t doubt your in­tu­ition ei­ther. David

Q Since he’s put the ring on my fin­ger, my boyfriend of five years is be­com­ing a per­son I don’t recog­nise. Some­thing is telling me to break it off. Is this pre-wed­ding jit­ters or should I go with my gut?

A Lis­ten to your gut. As a wed­ding ap­proaches, the idea is that you be­come surer that this is the per­son you want to be with for­ever. It will be eas­ier to break off an en­gage­ment than to go through a di­vorce. David

Q My man has been try­ing to grow a beard. He can barely muster stub­ble and the re­sult is patchy at best. How can I get him to shave it off with­out him know­ing that I think it looks aw­ful? A A Here’s the plan: Next time he tries to get in­ti­mate, say that you find the beard scratchy on your skin. Make it clear that it’s only through kiss­ing that you ac­tu­ally get in the mood for sex. He will then put two and two to­gether and fig­ure out that he can ei­ther look good or feel good. I can guar­an­tee he will choose the sec­ond op­tion and shave the day. David David Q My brother just cre­ated a Tin­der pro­file. When he showed me how it worked, I was shocked at the way he dis­missed many of the women purely based on their looks. I told him he was be­ing shal­low, he be­came ir­ri­tated and we haven’t spo­ken about it since. Should I say any­thing? A Nope. People who sign up to Tin­der know that it is pri­mar­ily a vis­ual medium. You read the bio only af­ter you check out the shot. Be­sides, once he ac­tu­ally meets up with these girls he has cho­sen pri­mar­ily for the bust or pen­chant for flesh flash­ing, he could well end up ad­just­ing his cri­te­ria. Even­tu­ally. David

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