Stuff You Can Only Ask
No question is too embarrassing for our expert … so fire away!
Q My sister’s fiancé is possibly the most perfect guy on Earth. He’s smart, funny, and treats her like a queen. I think I might be in love with him. What’s wrong with me?
A You need to back away! This may all stem from jealousy or competitiveness issues with your sibling but either way, he’s her man. Anyway, you are probably getting a seriously idealised image of him. Your sister is not going to tell you the bad things, is she? No man is perfect and your sister probably knows this better than you do. David Q I’ve noticed my boyfriend flirting with my roommate. How do I tell him that I don’t like what he’s doing without it turning into a fight? A He probably has no idea how his behaviour is impacting you so you have to let him know. Also, you need to make the discussion about your feelings rather than his actions. By giving him a specific example and the previously mentioned benefit of the doubt – as in “I know you’re not doing this on purpose but when you do X with Y, it makes me feel Z.” This should prevent things from blowing up. That said, don’t doubt your intuition either. David
Q Since he’s put the ring on my finger, my boyfriend of five years is becoming a person I don’t recognise. Something is telling me to break it off. Is this pre-wedding jitters or should I go with my gut?
A Listen to your gut. As a wedding approaches, the idea is that you become surer that this is the person you want to be with forever. It will be easier to break off an engagement than to go through a divorce. David
Q My man has been trying to grow a beard. He can barely muster stubble and the result is patchy at best. How can I get him to shave it off without him knowing that I think it looks awful? A A Here’s the plan: Next time he tries to get intimate, say that you find the beard scratchy on your skin. Make it clear that it’s only through kissing that you actually get in the mood for sex. He will then put two and two together and figure out that he can either look good or feel good. I can guarantee he will choose the second option and shave the day. David David Q My brother just created a Tinder profile. When he showed me how it worked, I was shocked at the way he dismissed many of the women purely based on their looks. I told him he was being shallow, he became irritated and we haven’t spoken about it since. Should I say anything? A Nope. People who sign up to Tinder know that it is primarily a visual medium. You read the bio only after you check out the shot. Besides, once he actually meets up with these girls he has chosen primarily for the bust or penchant for flesh flashing, he could well end up adjusting his criteria. Eventually. David