HOLD THE DRAMA!
How to save your mate from drunken disasters and other life dilemmas. By Nadia Stennett
Six friendship dilemmas solved
Our girlfriends are freakin’ important – particularly when we’re facing life’s sticky situations. Even science says so. People were asked to stand at the foot of a hill and rate its steepness in a study published in the Journal of Experimental Social Psychology in 2008. Those with a friend rated the hill as less confronting than those who faced it alone. But some sitches do have “approach with caution” written all over them (like when vodka’s involved), so here are a few pointers for saving your friend with mascara still intact.
The dilemma: It’s girls’ night and you’ve just polished off a bottle of wine sharing sob stories about your exes. Your bestie’s decided she wants to give hers a piece of her mind and is compiling a nasty text to him…
W e st ?
The save: Do not, under any circumstances, allow her to hit send. The chances she’ll check her phone in the morning and want to take refuge in Antarctica are high. “Encourage her to wait before she sends the text,” says psychologist Jacqui Manning. “Tell her to write it down in her Notes app – if she feels like sending it in the morning it will still be there.”
The dilemma: Your friend wants to go home with the dodgy guy she just met at the bar. You’re betting that between the vodka sodas and lippie on her teeth, her powers of decision-making aren’t exactly winning…
W e st ?
The save: Beer goggles aside, alcohol and sex can be a recipe for danger, especially with a stranger. “Stay with her no matter what,” says Manning. “If she professes undying love for this guy, grab his number and tell her she can call him in the morning. Prepare for her to argue, and don’t take it personally. She can thank you tomorrow.”
The dilemma: You’re leaving the club after a wild night when some girl shoves your friend to make her way inside. Your friend’s gone all Azealia Banks and wants to take her on…
W e st ?
The save: Unless you fancy yourself as a ringmaster, getting out of this situation at light speed is a must. Any distraction, like taking a brisk walk around the block or a trip to the kebab joint, will allow her time to calm down. “In situations like this, it’s not worth it even if you’re in the right. Ask yourselves, do you want to be right or do you want to be safe? Just walk away,” cautions Manning.
Beer goggles aside, alcohol and sex can be
a recipe for danger
The dilemma: Your pal ’s applied for a dozen jobs and has heard nothing back. She’s absolutely devo and convinced she’ll be unemployed forever...
W e st ?
The save: Job hunting can be brutal. Putting yourself out there only to face countless rejections is tough, so she’ll need your patience while she has a pity party. “She’ll be feeling really down on herself, so try to cheer her up by taking her out or doing something fun,” recommends Manning.
The dilemma: Your friend’s just found out her boy has cheated on her. She still loves him but is worried about what everyone will think if she stays with him…
W e st ?
The save: Making the wrong decision could leave her wounded, but avoid the temptation to make the choice for her. “It’s for her to decide if this is a deal-breaker or not. For many it will be. Some can make it through infidelity, but not without a lot of work, trust-building and honesty,” emphasises Manning.
The dilemma: Your friend has asked to borrow a huge sum of cash. She’s flat broke, has maxed out her credit cards and is headed for financial suicide…
W e st ?
The save: Money issues can be relationship destroying, and the last thing you want to do is help her get deeper in debt with yet another loan. Instead, tell her you’re strapped too, but you would love to help her find some support or advice. “Tell her to make an appointment with a free financial counsellor – check with Lifeline and similar charities. You’re not there to rescue her, but point her in the right direction so she can get sorted,” says Manning.
As gorgeous as he is, don’t let your friend hook-up with a guy
from the bar.