Find answers to your sex, love, and body concerns.
Q I realise I look for men who remind me of my father and this worries me. Is it wrong?
A How do they remind you and how does it worry you? Do they hurt or disrespect you? It is hard to answer your question because I am not too sure what your worries are about apart from how overwhelming it must feel being reminded of your father. Please seek professional help for this matter. You’re not necessarily disordered but psychologists or counsellors can help to piece (and peace) things out for you. Dr Alvin
Q My best friend keeps interfering in my love life. She says she’s doing it to protect me from being upset every time my man and I fight but I can’t help but feel like she’s trying to break us up because she’s jealous. She’s single and always complaining that I spend too much time with him. How do I handle it?
A I think you’re being pretty generous with the term “best friend”. If she deserved this status, she’d actually be happy that you were in love. Her single status should have no bearing on this situation at all and you should probably pay attention to your instinct that she’d prefer your relationship was over. Doing so doesn’t make you a bad person, it makes you an aware one. That said, try to see the situation from your friend’s POV. Perhaps she feels disregarded since Mr Right appeared. Perhaps she has a right to. David
Q How do I tell my boyfriend that he needs to do a little man- scaping without hurting his feelings? I’ve tried bringing it up to him but he changes the subject or dismisses me with stupid jokes. A When someone is asked to change, there is usually a sense of being rejected. However, it does depend on where it is coming from and how it is approached. It could be a preferred look issue, a health issue, or even a control issue. If he has been dismissing your suggestion, it could mean that he does not accept the need for man-scaping or perhaps the barriers to doing it have not been addressed. Listen to his side of the story also and talk about it with him. Go from there. Dr Alvin
Q I don’t want to have anal sex but my partner keeps asking for us to do it. I dread sex with him now because I’m afraid that he’ll bring it up and we’ll end up fighting like we always do. How do I get him to drop the subject once and for all? A You’re right in dreading sex with your partner because he wants something you don’t. Sex is a two-way process, and it takes two to make it meaningful. It’s very important that he respects your aversion for anal sex. If fights always happen when he asks for it, then it would be quite unwise of him to keep on asking as it would mean that you will lose interest in him – not a good consequence if sex is an objective in your partnership. Dr Alvin