Sex Q&A

Find an­swers to your sex, love, and body con­cerns.

CLEO (Malaysia) - - NEWS -

Q I re­alise I look for men who re­mind me of my fa­ther and this wor­ries me. Is it wrong?

A How do they re­mind you and how does it worry you? Do they hurt or dis­re­spect you? It is hard to an­swer your ques­tion be­cause I am not too sure what your wor­ries are about apart from how over­whelm­ing it must feel be­ing re­minded of your fa­ther. Please seek pro­fes­sional help for this mat­ter. You’re not nec­es­sar­ily dis­or­dered but psy­chol­o­gists or coun­sel­lors can help to piece (and peace) things out for you. Dr Alvin

Q My best friend keeps in­ter­fer­ing in my love life. She says she’s do­ing it to pro­tect me from be­ing up­set ev­ery time my man and I fight but I can’t help but feel like she’s try­ing to break us up be­cause she’s jeal­ous. She’s sin­gle and al­ways com­plain­ing that I spend too much time with him. How do I han­dle it?

A I think you’re be­ing pretty gen­er­ous with the term “best friend”. If she de­served this sta­tus, she’d ac­tu­ally be happy that you were in love. Her sin­gle sta­tus should have no bear­ing on this sit­u­a­tion at all and you should prob­a­bly pay at­ten­tion to your in­stinct that she’d pre­fer your re­la­tion­ship was over. Do­ing so doesn’t make you a bad person, it makes you an aware one. That said, try to see the sit­u­a­tion from your friend’s POV. Per­haps she feels dis­re­garded since Mr Right ap­peared. Per­haps she has a right to. David

Q How do I tell my boyfriend that he needs to do a lit­tle man- scap­ing with­out hurt­ing his feel­ings? I’ve tried bring­ing it up to him but he changes the sub­ject or dis­misses me with stupid jokes. A When some­one is asked to change, there is usu­ally a sense of be­ing re­jected. How­ever, it does de­pend on where it is com­ing from and how it is ap­proached. It could be a pre­ferred look is­sue, a health is­sue, or even a con­trol is­sue. If he has been dis­miss­ing your sug­ges­tion, it could mean that he does not ac­cept the need for man-scap­ing or per­haps the bar­ri­ers to do­ing it have not been ad­dressed. Lis­ten to his side of the story also and talk about it with him. Go from there. Dr Alvin

Q I don’t want to have anal sex but my part­ner keeps ask­ing for us to do it. I dread sex with him now be­cause I’m afraid that he’ll bring it up and we’ll end up fight­ing like we al­ways do. How do I get him to drop the sub­ject once and for all? A You’re right in dread­ing sex with your part­ner be­cause he wants some­thing you don’t. Sex is a two-way process, and it takes two to make it mean­ing­ful. It’s very im­por­tant that he re­spects your aver­sion for anal sex. If fights al­ways hap­pen when he asks for it, then it would be quite un­wise of him to keep on ask­ing as it would mean that you will lose in­ter­est in him – not a good con­se­quence if sex is an ob­jec­tive in your part­ner­ship. Dr Alvin

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