Must Fol­low Celeb: @az­izansari

This Amer­i­can comedian and ac­tor has a string of dead­pan tweets that will have you in stitches!

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“Dude from my ho­tel just brought up a fax while I was blast­ing Waka Flocka, so I yelled ‘WAKA! FLOCKA! FAX!’ He didn’t seem amused.”

“Just helped out some Ja­panese strangers in a dif­fer­ent booth belt out “I Want it That Way” by Backstreet Boys. Why? Cause I’m a good person.” “Damn. For­got to hire ba­bies off Craigslist to pose as my fake chil­dren in my Christ­mas card again this year.”

“Found an iPhone. Re­turn­ing it, but not be­fore I change their ring­tone to “Speak­ers Go­ing Ham­mer” by Soul­jaBoy.”

“Left a long “F*** You” voice­mail to dude that stole my iPhone. And just sadly re­al­ized, only I will end up lis­ten­ing to that voice­mail.”

“Tried to find my friend Mario’s con­tact on iPhone search, ac­ci­den­tally started play­ing Need a Girl Pt 2 Remix w/MARIO Wi­nans. #Blessed”

Funny man Aziz Ansari got his comedic break do­ing stand-up in New York City.

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